Infrequent Thoughts

A History Together

So mainly because I said I would about twice now, and I promised someone a few hours ago I would (you know who you are) I'm gonna give the history between me and the girl I have a crush on right now.

Alright, so let's go back four years ago, when I was an 11 year old Joe and it was the first day of middle school. It was the last period of the day and I was on my way to one of my elective classes called vocab and wordplay (basically we just played board games. It was really easy getting an A in that class). I was sitting alone, but there were a few people around me. One of these people was a girl. She looked kinda older than me so I assumed she was in a higher grade. I don't know what, but something about her just captivated me. I couldn't not look at her.

As the weeks went by, we started to get to know eachother. I learned her name and found out that she was in 7th grade. I was a little disappointed by this as girls never usually went for guys younger than them, at least from what I was used to, but...something told me that she felt kinda the same way about me as I did about her.

When the second semester started and we got new electives, I was happy to find that she was still in one of my classes. I can distinctly remember the smile she had on her face when she saw I was in the same class as her.

As the school year slowly finished, I found that I really, really liked her and wanted to ask her out...BUUUUT, it would be the first time I've ever done that and it petrified me thinking about if she'd say know. Not only that, but if she did say no, it would be sooooo awkward whenever we were in class together.

I had to ask her in some way or another, so I came up with an ingenious idea!*sarcasm overload starts here*

I was going to write her a letter in order to ask her out. And, here's the real kicker, I was going to give it to her ON THE LAST FEW DAYS OF THE SCHOOL YEAR! This way, if she said no, I wouldn't have to face her we wouldn't have to be around eachother! Fool proof, I know.

So I had written the letter and it was the last two days of school. I was waiting in class for her to come in that way I could give it to her when the bell rang...but she didn't show up...well that's fine. Maybe she was busy doing something for another one if her classes or maybe she didn't feel well. She's got to come in tomorrow!

...

Nope.

She sadly did not come in the last day of school.

However, I was ever the optimist and kept the letter, to give to her when next year started!

I spent the whole summer anticipating what she would say, hoping things would go my way.*Sarcasm overload ends here*

When 7th grade started, I was saddened to find she was in nome of my classes, but I was sure I'd see her somewhere in the halls at least.

After several weeks though...I found out that she no longer attended the school.

I was...sad to say the least. But life went on.

It was the same thing everyday. It was someday in December like it had been many years before. Walking down the stairs from gym to go to social studies and I wou-HOLY FUCK! Who was that that just walked by me?! Was that her?! Is she back?! Don't make a big deal, don't look weird or anything. just keep walking and actually see if that was her.

Lo and behold, after having several encounters like that in the halls, she really was back! Part of me was happy, but another part of me held back from talking to her again. It had been months since we'd spoken and I didn't want to seem creepy because I still liked her, so I reluctantly told myself to let go of her and move on which I did an ok job of.