I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always
I'd love to wake up next to you
"Are you seriously fucking leaving again?"
Liam isn't sure what makes him ask – if it's the way Niall always insists it's only because of work, or if it's because Liam has forever known the truth – that Niall isn't afraid of being caught – Niall is simply ashamed.
Or it's because Niall's haste in leaving makes him feel empty and unwanted.
"You know I can't stay here, Li."
"You can. You just choose – time and time again – not to."
Liam's reaching over to the side-table even as Niall shifts out of his bed, Liam's fingers curling around the pack of cigarettes just as Niall sighs.
"It's one-thirty in the morning, Liam. Must you insist on ending every day with that disgusting and sinful habit?"
Liam, for his part, huffs out a laugh and studies the twenty seven year old that's started to get dressed. It's funny to him, really, that Niall can lecture him about right and wrong when only an hour or so prior Liam had been fucking him into the mattress.
"Watch it, Ni. This 'disgusting and sinful habit' is what keeps me in a good mood and gets you laid so often."
"Liam–"
"Oh, right. I can suck your dick, but God fucking forbid I talk about it. My –"
"Stop it."
They stare at each other for a long moment, neither of them making a sound; instead of finishing his previous thoughts, Liam flicks his lighter on, setting flame to the cigarette still cradled between his fingers.
Liam wants to continue – he wants to rip Niall apart, wants to stare into those blue eyes, wants to thread his fingers through the other man's blonde hair and pull; he wants to drag his teeth across Niall's neck and rip off that infuriating silver ring as he tells him, over and over, that he loves him and it hurts when Niall leaves him like this, alone and sad.
Liam wants to ask why Niall always cuts these conversations short – wants to ask Niall to say I love you, too.
Liam stays silent.
He takes a long drag and pretends that Niall's shame doesn't make him want to chug some of Louis's stolen whiskey, which is stashed somewhere in his closet.
"Get out of my house now, Niall."
It's the name that makes Niall pause in the buttoning of his dress shirt – Liam never calls him Niall, save for when he's angry and only seconds away from exploding.
"Li" Niall's voice is softer than it had been – he reaches out and touches Liam's hair, fingers pressing hard into the older man's scalp. "I can't stay. Ellie will be home soon"
It's a good reason, of course. Neither of them like to think about what would happen if Ellie found out about their – well, their sort of relationship.
"Stay," the brunette says, and he can feel, against the skin of his neck, Niall sigh.
Niall kisses him, and for a moment, everything feels better – the lump in his throat dissolves, anger dissipating as Niall's tongue slides over his own and his fingertips graze his cheeks. And fuck, it feels so good, so special, and Liam wishes more than anything that Niall could be like this more often.
"I love you," he offers, right into Niall's red mouth. He leans back into the headboard of his bed, one hand holding his cigarette away from them and the other fisting into Niall's shirt.
It's not a surprise that Niall doesn't say anything back, but there's an ache in Liam's chest all the same. Sure, Niall kisses him again, pressing tiny pecks to his mouth as his reply, but it's still not the fucking same.
It's still not what Liam wants – what he needs.
"Get some sleep," Niall offers, and Liam forces a grin.
"Sure thing, Ni. You, too."
Niall smiles, gathering the rest of his clothing, and leaves the room without another word.
When the door closes behind him, Liam takes another drag from his fading cigarette and goes to find the stolen whiskey his body has been screaming for.
Since majority wanted Niam I went with Niam.
