Fighting, Surviving, & Hopelessly Lost

Chapter 19

After having J.C fuss over me to make sure I was fine, and after countless of I'm fine's, Peyton drove me home to Hanna's. We got there in no time which was ironic because I wanted the ride to last forever. Peyton parked on the driveway and we sat in a few seconds of silence.

"You okay?" he asked cautiously.

"Uh, yeah." I really wasn't and I was wondering if he knew that already.

"Don't give me that crap Juliet. I know you're not okay but I asked anyways. I wanted to hear you say you're not okay. But you keep shutting out that side of. you. Please," he begged, "trust your feelings and emotions."

His outburst was a little shocking but I could do nothing else but sigh. I guess he was right. All this time, I've been holding everything in without describing much of my feelings. But I couldn't help that.

"Whatever. I'm going in," I mumbled. "Wait for me."

Peyton stayed in the car like he was told which I was extremely grateful for. I didn't need any more stress when Hanna would start yelling at me. And for the record, yes, I was nervous.

The door creaked open the second I began opening it. It was loud, so I wasn't really surprised when loud, anxious footsteps came racing down. It was Hanna of course.

"Juliet? Juliet! Is that you?" she yelled frantically as she searched for the light switch.

"Um, yeah," I replied stupidly.

"Oh Juliet! Are you okay, sweetie? Where have you been?" Hanna kept on asking me questions until I couldn't keep up anymore.

"Hanna," I said quietly, cutting her off in her question frenzy. "I'm fine and I'm sorry." Words weren't always my friends in situations like these. Everything I want to say gets choked up in my throat so all I can do is swallow it down.

"Oh baby. It's okay. I'm not mad. But I was worried about you, Juliet. A beautiful girl like you, all alone on the road and nobody knew where you were going or why. I was just worried, honey." Hanna was looking me over as she talked, making sure I was fine. I was glad that it was in the middle of the night and the lights were dimmed.

"Yeah Hanna. I know I just got back, but can I go to sleep?" I ask, faking a real looking yawn. Peyton was hopefully still waiting for me outside. After everything that has happened, I want to end with Peyton on a good note.

"Sure thing," Hanna said. "Get some sleep sweetie and we'll talk some more tomorrow."

Hanna gave me one last smile before going back upstairs. That was my cue to quickly escape out of the living room. Peyton was in fact waiting for me outside even though it was a little cool.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

"If you're really asking why I'm still here, the answer is because I'm worried about you but I also love you." He was looking right into my eyes, as if he sensed my discomfort.

But who was I kidding. I trusted him so I shouldn't feel uncomfortable.

"Jul, something happened, didn't it. When you left you not only came back bruised, but you never told anyone the whole story."

Peyton was such a good mind reader. How he guessed, I don't know.

"I can't really explain all of this right now," I started and before Peyton could object I quickly said, "but I will talk about it when...when I'm ready."

He smiled at me while his eyes shined. But I saw that small glimmer in the corner of his eye that wanted to know what was going on. I could tell he wanted to help me, but I wasn't used to such caringness and affection.

"Well in that case you better get some rest anyways. We have school tomorrow and practice after. Plus you need to start getting ready for championships. And also.."

"Peyton! Shut up," I teased lightly.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I kinda got a little carried away with everything," he shrugged.

"Well stick to your own life. Let me try to live mine." Tears were started to form on the brims of my eyes.

"You know, it's okay to cry. To let all of those heavy emotions out, to let those demos free, to breathe again. Just 'cause your past was a little rocky, doesn't mean it has to be now." He cautiously stepped towards me. He reached out to my face and tucked my loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"But I feel so alone," I whispered, not trusting my voice or actions anymore.

"You can let somebody in. You have a great group of friends including me. You can trust us."

"No. Not yet."

"Yes. Now. Breathe and just let go of it all. Think of how good you'll feel after. How open-minded. Trust me. Let me in."

I shook my head vigorously while the clear, salty droplets of water dripped down my face, one by one. Joe told me I should stay tough. I looked up to him, didn't I? He is my trainer, my coach. He helped me get through it all and block it all out.

Peyton now stood so close to me, that I could feel the heat and his heart beating. He cupped my face in his sturdy hands and made sure I was looking right at him.

"Jul," his voice barely a whisper. The moonlight danced on his face, making him look really hot. "Kiss me."

His lips were soft against mine and he kissed of the tears on my face. I was quivering from the intensity of the kiss but I melting into it. Our bodies were close together and I wanted so badly to tell him I let him in. I wanted to shout it to the entire world. But my torso started shooting needles. I hissed out in pain and pulled away from him.

My hands quickly flew to my scar and came back slightly soaked. I sighed and looked back at Peyton.

"Peyton, I love you. I really do. That was amazing and I want to trust you. Heck, I already told you everything about my past. But I never told you my feelings. I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that I do trust you. But I want to explain everything to you. Let's ditch tomorrow and go down to the back to the beach, okay?"

He smiled. "I'll pick you up early in the morning blondie." And with that, he hopped on that really awesome motorcycle of his and left a dusty cloud.

What was I going to tell him, and how was I going to do that?

AN- I swear I'm not dead. I was just...gone. But I'm back now and I'm glad I've reached or what, 400 500 views? Incredible. Dedicated this chapter to my friend cuz she wanted me to update and honestly, I kinda like this story. I'm really sorry it's been a billion years. I would really appreciate it if you guys Commented, Voted, Kept on reading, and all that fun stuff. That would really help me get motivated and back on track. Life isn't easy and I swear winter is the most depressing season. I'm a summer freak. But that's totally off track right now, so I hope you enjoy!

Love,
Juju

Unedited