Broken Promises {hiatus}

Torn Between Love and Hate

Beep. Beep. Beep. Apart from the heavy breathing of his wife, her heart monitor was all that he could hear. He let out a sigh and walked to the door but as his hand touched the doorknob he heard a quiet, raspy voice. "Don't leave me. You promised you'd never leave me." Demi's small voice spoke. He shook his head in disbelief, after all he has put her through, she still didn't want him to leave. "I also promised you a lot of other things, Demi." He said, still near the door. "Please Wil, I need you to hold me." She whimpered as tears filled her eyes.

Wilmer groaned, not really wanting to be stuck in a hospital with his wife. He was the reason she was there in the first place, still, he walked over to the bed, slipping his shoes off and getting in next to Demi. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. Demi sighed, still loving the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. Why was she doing this to herself? She was only torturing herself in the long run by staying with him. But she didn't want her child to grow up fatherless. She was starting to sound ridiculous; staying together with a drunken asshole all for the sake of her unborn child. But why would she want her child growing up around an abusive man? She was definitely going crazy. 

"I love you Wilmer." Demi said as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I should hate you but I can't. Why can't I hate you?" She cried, banging her small fists against his chest as she sobbed loudly. Wilmer didn't try to stop her, he didn't understand why she couldn't hate him either but he would use that to his own advantage. Why should he care about her feelings? To him, she was just a fucked up, waste of space with a hell of a lot of problems. It wasn't his fault that Demi is staying with him. It is fault that she had gotten pregnant. He was the one that didn't put on a condom because he was too caught up in the moment. 

Demi was still crying and Wilmer just wished she would stop. "Can you stop crying? It's pathetic, Demi." He spat, not even regretting it. "It wasn't so pathetic last week when you were sobbing into my shoulder, fucking asshole." She shot back, venom laced in her voice. She truly was sick of his shit. Wilmer's nostrils flared and his fists clenched tightly. He couldn't believe she had the nerve to talk back to him. He soon realized where they were and knew he couldn't hit her in the hospital so he would only deal with her at home. Where the pain would be unbearable.

Demi knew, deep down, that she shouldn't have talked back to but she did not want him treating her worse than he already was. The beatings would be nothing compared to words, they would not affect her as much as the harsh words he spoke would. She was fragile and words hurt more than actions. She knew that it wasn't the environment for a child to be brought up in. but she would shield her child of that pain for as much of her as it took. 

She was tired. Tired of being in the hospital. Tired of Wilmer. Tired of her own thoughts. Tired of living. How was she going to bring a child into this world, if the only thing she wanted was out? A billion thoughts raced through her head. She couldn't give up her baby just because she didn't want to live anymore. Maybe she could just hurt herself for what Wilmer was hurting her for. She had to be doing something wrong, right? She was scared of what would happen next. After talking back to Wilmer, she knew that he had wanted to hit her but was just waiting until they went home. She really didn't know what he was capable, but whatever he did to her, she would still love him, she didn't think she could ever hate him. She was torn between love and hate for her husband. 

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