How We Fall

Chapter 4

"cause someone's gonna get hurt,
yeah someone's gonna get hurt,
and it's not gonna be me,
cause you're the one thing..."

Dean's POV

"Wai-" I called out, but she was already gone. I slumped back on the bed letting out a groan. Maybe I did need this camp, I mean, I'd just quite probably caused her to hate me, and she hadn't exactly done something wrong. She had laughed and laughed and laughed which caused for a lot of frustration to build up in me, and I blew up.

I wasn't good with people laughing at me, I wasn't good with anything that had to do with people, really. Which was why I was here. I got up and put some clothes on, consisting of jeans and a white shirt.

I washed my face and stared at my reflection. Guys always have the highest self confidence level somehow, I didn't know if I was supposed to be any different. But I didn't have self confidence. It never was a problem for me because, well, I just had come to accept the fact I'd never have a boyfriend or a girlfriend so it didn't matter.

"Fuck shit up on your first day. Great going, you."

I grabbed a piece of paper and started to work on a drawing, not that I was talented. It was just something I liked to do, because I could do enough to at least satisfy myself.

It was dark by the time I was done. How long will she be gone, I wondered.

I checked the time, 9.00 pm. Curfew was 8. We'd both missed dinner. But more importantly, she'd missed curfew. It was only a matter of time before someone came to check up on us, as this was a social camp.

This was stupid, I realized. She was safe, I realized. But I felt guilty because what I'd said hadn't been nice, and that's just how shitty people are. They help people so they stop feeling guilty. Which makes helping them selfish, somehow. Human lesson 101: they're selfish. I'm selfish, we are all.

I grunted as I got up and exited the room, as if I ever could find her in such a big place.