search:kagehina (one-shots-boyxboy)

{5}

{5}

/THE FEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND~/

"If you love me let me go," Hinata whispers, gazing at Kageyama with tired eyes. Hinata barely looks like himself... The usually energetic, happy-go-luck guy is currently bed ridden. Upon having become sick with some disease with a name Kageyama can't pronounce, Hinata started to fade.

The first thing that faded was his skin. His skin, which was slightly tan due to his frequent afternoon runs with Kageyama has grown pale. Then again, describing Hinata's skin as pale is an understatement. Hinata's skin is a pale a snow, or as pale as paper or... Kageyama doesn't let himself finish that dark thought.

The second thing that faded was his hair. His once shiny orange hair now looks like a light brown color... A color similar to that of a dead leaf found on the ground in the fall.

The third thing that faded was his smile. For a while, even though he was (and still is) in immense pain, Hinata had smiled. He has smiled in an attempt to prove to himself and Kageyama that he is okay. After a while, Hinata stopped smiling. Kageyama isn't sure of the exact reasons... Perhaps smiling was tiring for Hinata. Or perhaps Hinata had given up on the idea that he could recover... The very idea of his once loud mouthed and determined boyfriend giving up makes Kageyama's heart ache. He can't stand to see Hinata like this... A sickly and faded version of the person he use to be.

"I love you-" Kageyama begins to say, just to be interrupting by the scream of machines. Kageyama screams along with the machines when he sees THE flatline. THE sign that Hinata's heart has stopped.

"If you love me you won't let go," Kageyama shouts as nurses and doctors swarm in, all trying their best to bring Hinata back to life. The scream of machines is replaced by the shouts of various frustrated and determined medical staff.

"It's time to wake up now, Hinata!" One nurse shouts, all the while throwing a nearby doctor a nervous look.

"It's time to wake up, Kageyama," a familiar voice says, waking Kageyama from his nightmare.

Except it wasn't a nightmare.

The left side of the bed, the side that Hinata's small body would occupate is empty. Kageyama runs one of his hands over the sheet, and what little hope he had fades away when he feels no heat.

Hinata had never been in bed.

Hinata couldn't have been in bed because he's dead.

He died.

He let go four months ago.

Kageyama hasn't let go.

Kageyama CAN'T let go.

Every little thing reminds Kageyama of Hinata. From the way the sun shines through the window, to the way some volleyball players hit a ball. All he can see is Hinata.

Kageyama doesn't just see Hinata; he hears him. He hears Hinata's voice as a catchy song comes on, a song that Hinata would have, for some reason, felt the need to sing along to. He got the lyrics wrong most of the time, and he sounded like a sick cat, but his singing never failed to make Kageyama laugh.

"You need to let me go," Hinata's voice says, sounding so loud that Kageyama THINKS that Hinata is hiding somewhere within the apartment. "If you love me-"

"YOU WON'T LET GO!" Kageyama shouts, interrupting Hinata's voice, "IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WON'T LET GO! WHY DID YOU LET GO? WHY, WHY, WHY?"

"It was for the best," Hinata's voice says, "By letting go, the pain went away. If you let go, your pain could go away."

"NO IT WOULDN'T!" Kageyama yells, all the while his eyes starting to water.

"Just because you let go, doesn't me you forget," Hinata's voice says softly, and the softness is what pushes Kageyama over the edge. Kageyama who begins to sob, has no choice but to listen to Hinata since he can't bring himself to speak. "By letting go, you let yourself form bonds with new people, and make yourself happy. Once you make yourself happy you can think of me with a smile instead of a frown." Kageyama gasps as a warm breeze strokes his face, "Let go and find happiness, Kageyama. You found your happiness once and you can find it again." Almost as suddenly as the breeze appeared, it fades away.

"Hinata..." Kageyama says in between sobs, "I love you and the happiness you brought me so..." Kageyama can't believe what he is saying, and what he is planning to do...

"I'LL LET YOU GO."

/I have a full kagehina fanfic called Without you can read :D Warning: It's sad./