Iridescent Pearls

will you forget about me?

Will you forget about me? You walked away without glancing back, it felt as if you merely ended an insignificant phone call. Our weeks together evanesced with each step you took.

Internally the voices in my head were ravaging me, and I bit my lip to contain the wail of pain that wanted to escape. You didn't care anymore, I had no one else to cry to. You left me for my tears stained your shirts but didn't touch your heart. I was just a passing memory, and you were gone the minute you said hello.

I turned away.

I had to, it was my first step in trying to save my sanity. You will forget about me, and I will try hard to bury you in my thoughts and suffocate you in my dreams. I have to...I trade one addiction for another. The difference is that an addiction has never walked away from me. An addiction has never forced me to sober up without a second thought. The scars you left piles on top of the past pain, it was almost too much to bear.

The voices in my head demanded the attention that kept trying to gravitate to your pull, I had to delete you off my photo albums, erase your contact, and eradicate all trace of you from my precious phone. My living, breathing diary.

Scrubbing the internal drive of my phone was simply the first layer of acid I had to pour to cleanse my blood of this addiction. I fell off the grid. All social media accounts were deleted, a purge that was born of the death of us.

The days blurred together as I tried to drown in myself. Even though my skin grew pale, my hair smelled, and my nails were bitten to the quick, I felt the withdrawal. I felt the hunger deep within me for your poison. How could you forget me?

Teach me, maybe then I could forget you. I need you to leave the shadows in my mind. I need to burn my heart alive, ashes must surely feel less pain. Teach me to forget you. Lost in the haze of insomnia, hunger, and apathy my phone rang. It rang, and rang. That thing can be really irritating. Silence, now I can bleed again.

...

Weeks later, the wood thing that helped me stay trapped inside rattled with the bones of anger crashing down, I heard roaring words but could hardly distinguish them. I tried to call out, but my jaw hurt. Did I fall? I don't remember getting up.

The lion at the gate burst in, and my soul drained from me when I saw you standing in the doorway. What? You forgot me!

I screeched, "You forgot me!"

"Yes." With one word you sliced open the wounds.

"Yes, I forgot you. Heartless bastard that I am, I can't let you forget yourself."

Jonathan walked in with each word, he took a step back into my sight. There were no tears, they had been vaporized long ago.

He scooped me up, my vision gave out, and I vaguely felt him carry me out.

C. Dougherty