Howl / Black [book 1]

eight

[ Trigger Warning: Suicide ]

The week after her mothers death was difficult for Mason.

Bella, who was upset that Mason never told her about her mother, and Charlie had been with the girl everyday since then. Bella never apologized to Mason about being absent for so long, but Mason didn't care. Mason told Bella the whole story about what happened in the meadow. She also passed on the information about the wolves to Charlie and Harry, the two then went on a hunting party. To say Bella was afraid for Mason's safety was an understatement. She began to email and text and call Edward non-stop.

"I've gotta go to the station." Charlie told Mason as she sat on his couch, waiting for Bella to return from school.

"Good! That's good." She replied, blankly.

"You okay here? You want to come with?" He asked with concern.

"Actually, I-I need to see a friend." She told him while standing up.

"O-Okay. Call me if you need anything." He told her. She nodded in response and raced upstairs to get dressed.

●●●

Mason knocks impatiently on the door a few times before Billy finally answers. 

"Hi, Billy. I know Jacob's sick bu-" 

"He's out with friends." Billy cuts her off.

"Oh." She was taken back.

"I'll let him know you came by." Billy frowns when he notices the dark circles under her eyes. 

Billy starts to close the door, but she stops him. "Wait, he's got mono, right? That's what you told Charlie."

"You should go on home, Mason." He sadly says before shutting the door. 

Rain starts to poor down as Mason climbs in her car and slams the door, pissed. She slams her palms against the wheel and lets out a scream. She tosses her keys aside and sinks down into her seat to wait. Billy pulls the curtain back, looks out at Mason with sympathy, then closes the curtain.

Mason stares out of her passenger window and watches the rain fall. Suddenly, there's a knock at the driver's window. She spins to find Jacob standing there. But his face is shockingly different. His hair is cropped short and he looks mad. She gets out of the car and slams the door. Looking behind Jacob, she sees Sam Uley, Jared, Paul and Embry. They're oblivious to the rain and are wearing minimal clothes. The rain soaked Mason's clothes and hair within seconds. 

"You cut your hair!" Mason exclaimed.  

"Go away." Was his response.

Mason held her breath as Jacob turned away. She grabbed his arm. "What happened to you?"

He turned to see her eyes filled with tears, and in that moment, everything in Jacob's life changed. The pack, who was out of sight but still in earshot, spoke to one another about what just happened. Jacob had imprinted on Mason.

Jacob blinked a few times and regained composure. "Please leave, Mason."

"No." She spat in anger. "How can-How can you do that? Promise to never hurt me or-or leave but then do exactly that. My mom died Jacob, i invited you to the funeral and you didn't come. A-And now my step-dad is leaving because he wants nothing to do with me." Jacob clenched his jaw, watching as she cries. "Please, you promised."

"Mason. We can't be friends anymore." Jacob told her.

"W-What?" Mason was confused.

"It's not you -"

"'It's not you, it's me?' God." She clenched her hands.

"It's true. I'm not... good." He watched as her tears mixed with the rain drops running down her face.

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"It doesn't matter. This is over." His heart hurt while he spoke, knowing that this was for the best.

"I can't take losing you too." Her voice cracked.

"Go home, Mason. Don't come back." He said before practically running inside.

Mason stood in the rain for a few seconds before getting into her car and leaving. Crying the entire way home she walked into her room and screamed. Everything coming at her at once. She picked up the picture frame that had a picture of her and Jacob and threw it at the wall, making the glass shatter. She then began to break everything in sight. All of her pictures, glass miscellaneous, and anything she could get her hands onto. Finally, she stood in front of her mirror, staring back at her was the reflection of someone she had never seen, someone broken and scared. Then, she threw her fist into the mirror, shattering it to pieces and busting her knuckles.

Picking up a large piece of glass, she stared at it while squeezing as tight as she could, blood poured out of the cut she made. Pointing the sharper end towards her stomach, she then began to apply pressure. Before she could do any more damage, her room door was slammed open.

"Mason!" The voice of Bella Swan screamed.

Billy had called Charlie and told him what happened and to check on Mason, what he didn't expect to do was save her life.

"Mason, stop." He grabbed her wrist and forced her hand away.

"What are you doing, stop." She fought against his hold. "Let me do this." Mason screamed at him.

Bella stood in the doorway in tears as she watched the scene unfold.

"Let it go, Mason you don't want to do this." He forced the glass out her bloody hand.

"I don't want to live. Everyone is leaving, i have no one." Mason cried into his shoulder as he pulled her to him. "I don't want to be here." 

Charlie dropped to the floor with the girl, stroking her head and shushing her, they stayed like that for an hour before he took her to the hospital.

●●● 

#PrayForJason

Is that a good ship name? weird that it actually spells an actual name lmao i'm so sorry for this pain but it will get better.

And if anyone of you suffer from suicidal thoughts or know someone that does i mean no harm in any way. I have tried to commit before so if anyone ever needs to talk i am always here <3 i love you all!