Don't Go (BBC Merlin Fan Fiction)

Chapter six

  When Merlin woke up Arthur sat him upon the edge of a metal table. Merlin yawned, being very groggy after Arthur had conducted an MRI on him, along with other examinations while he was asleep.

  "Hey Arthur," Merlin blinked, "Gee, where are we?"

  "Shit, Merlin," Arthur said, glad that Merlin sounded and thought like himself, "You're in the god-damned hospital."

  "For how long?" Merlin asked.

  "About two or three hours. You blacked out at the restaurant," Arthur shook his head, "Christ, Merlin. You had me worried to death!"

  "I do remember not feeling well..."

  "Why didn't you tell anybody?"

  "Just thought the feeling would pass by soon. My whole body was aching, and I actually felt on fire before blacking out."

  "Yeah, about that. I took an MRI of your body. The cancer is spreading through at a rapid pace. Luckily, thought, it's nowhere near your brain. On the other hand, the cancer is working it's way towards your lungs."

  "How wonderful."

  "Merlin," Arthur put his hand on Merlin's shoulder, looking him in the eyes, "There's still time to get chemotherapy and other treatments to try to get rid of the cancer or at least decrease it's pace...

  "Please consider it, Merlin. You're my friend. I couldn't bear to lose you," Arthur would never be able to smile again if the one person he actually had true affection for died.

  "You're my friend too Arthur. I've already told you once, and I will again. Doing those treatments will only slow my death more. I'll still die either way."

  But I still want more time to make more memories with you Merlin, Arthur thought, can't you understand that?

  As if reading Arthur's mind, Merlin suddenly leaned forwards and planted his lips on Arthur's, cupping his hand on the outline of his jaw. Arthur's hands bracketed Merlin's sharp hip bones as he deepened the kiss, pulling at Merlin's lower lip. 

  Suddenly Arthur pulled himself away, surprised at what had just happened. "What the hell was that?" Arthur said in confused anger.

  Merlin quickly hopped off of the table, eyes wide, "I'm terribly sorry Arthur! I just...I think I'll go now." He then sneaked his way past Arthur and ran out of the room.

  "WAIT! MERLIN!" Arthur shouted at thin air, then leafed his fingers through his hair, "Argh! Why do I always manage to be such an ass?!" 

****  

Once Morgana had barged her way into Arthur's office she demanded to know how Merlin was. He then told her about Merlin's situation, then about what had happened last night.     

 "Ha! I knew it. You two are meant for each other," Morgana sang. She left Arthur's office, leaving him alone to sulk.  

****

   Arthur never heard from Merlin throughout the next few days. He couldn't visit Dragon Books, for he was swamped with surgeries and appointments, and when he got off of his shift at a late time the store was closed.  

  He had even tried sending Merlin quite a few texts in a desperate attempt to talk to him, but Merlin never answers or looks at his phone. The lack of being around Merlin was driving Arthur crazy.

    On Friday Morgana had had enough of Arthur's attitude. "If you're going to pine after Merlin that bad, just visit his house for heavens sake. You've been over there before."  

  Arthur raised and eyebrow, wondering why he hadn't thought of that before. He then decided to go to Merlin's house right after his shift ended.  

****  

  The front door of Merln's house had been knocked on three times and was never answered. Arthur knew for a fact that Merlin was home--his car was in the driveway and the lights were on inside of the house.  

  Arthur wanted to talk to Merlin and wanted to talk to him now, so he rattled the door handle, only to discover that the front door was unlocked, and Arthur was able to walk into the house with ease. Only Merlin would do something like that, Arthur thought.

 "Merlin?" Arthur surveyed the living room, which still looked the same from when he was last over at Merln's.

     Something moved in the corner of Arthur's eye and he turned, only to see Merlin leaning against a pile of books. He looks frail, such a sickly version from the radiant man he saw a few weeks back. Arthur quickly walked towards Merlin, leaning down besides him, his previous thoughts turning into those of a doctor.

    "How long have you been in this state?" Arthur asked, looking into Merlin's pale blue eyes.

     "A few...hours, I think," Merlin muttered.     "Fuck...Merlin, there could still be time. If I can get you to the hospital we can take you into immediate surgery and---"

    Merlin held up his hand, "No Arthur...just...just hold me...please."     Oh God, Arthur thought. He obeyed Merlin's wish, and shifted him so that Merlin was resting against Arthur's chest. He closed his hand around Merlin's.

    "Merlin, I'm sorry about last week...I don't know why I said that."  

  "Don't be sorry...I had that coming."

    "Had was coming? God Merlin, I bloody love you! Don't you realize that?"

    Merlin smiled one of his real smiled, turning Arthur's hand over and tracing Arthur's palm with his thumb. "Then I suppose I can say that I love you, too."

    Tears came to Arthur's eyes, realizing what might happen at any moment, "Don't you dare try to fucking die, Merlin. You just can't die! You can't...'' 

    Soon the tears were spilling down Arthur's cheeks. 

    "Sorry 'bout that..." Merlin mumbled. He slowly brought Arthur's hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles before bringing his hand back down again, unable to keep the strength to hold up the hand for longer.

    Sobs shuddered through Arthur's body as he watched Merlin fade away and go limp, a small smile stuck on his face. Arthur had never felt so alone in his life. His one true friend, and love, was now gone, and there was nothing he could do about it.                                                                              

                                                                                   ::Fin::