Georgia

Chapter 25

Caroline

Michelle has been staying at my house this week keeping me company as I lose my mind. I'm still in this crazy funk over James and Luke. I've picked up my phone so many times to call them but decide against it. I don't know what I'd say at this point anyway. I'm not any closer to knowing what I want then I was when all this started. They are both really incredible guys.

We're sitting on the couch trying to watch a movie but I can't focus on it at all, there's too much going thru my head. Michelle notices I'm not paying attention.

"You are so out of it right now." She says throwing a pillow at me.

"I know. I can't think of anything but all this James, Luke, college stuff. I need to do something soon. I feel like the longer I wait the worse it's gonna get."

"So tell me. Maybe saying it all out loud will help. What happened the night James came over?"

"He came after work and we were sitting in the kitchen. I kept looking at him trying to say something. Then he tells me to start with Luke. He knew we were talking. I told him I was sorry for keeping it from him and that I was feeling confused and I needed some time to figure out what I wanted."

"What'd he say?"

"He got kinda mad thinking it was just some excuse I was giving him so I could be with Luke and then he told me to pick him. He stood in front of me telling me all the reasons why we belong together and then he kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?"

"Yeah, I shouldn't have I just got lost in it. He'd never kissed me like that before. I realized it was just gonna confuse things more so I pulled away. You should've seen the face he gave me. He looked so hurt."

"Geez, Carol. And what about with Luke?"

"Oh that was just horrible on a whole other level. I felt so stupid after I hung up with him. I called him and the first thing he said was that he was thinking about that night we had up in the tree house. So that just threw me off from the start cause I started thinking about it too."

"That was the night you guys slept together wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Pretty much the most perfect night ever and he had me thinking about it. He started to say something and I cut him off. I had no clue what he was gonna say but I knew if he talked more about that night I was never gonna get out what I needed to say. I just told him the same thing I told James minus the college stuff, that I needed some time to get my head on right and figure out what I wanted."

"So why'd you feel stupid after talking to him?"

"Just for assuming he felt the same way about me. There I was basically saying I needed time to choose between him and James and he has a girlfriend. I don't know, it was just bad."

"The way he was looking at you that night in that bar he feels the same way trust me."

"Ugh!" I say loudly burying my face in the pillow. "How did I even get here? Last year I was totally oblivious in my own little world and now somehow I ended up with these two unbelievably perfect men in my life."

"Yeah that's a toughie! You got a hard life there, girly!" She says throwing another pillow at me.

We give up trying to watch the movie. I'm lying in my bed staring up at the ceiling, a few of those glow in the dark stars still stuck up there. I thought I had taken them all off. James helped me put those up. I remember the night that he brought them over. My mom was getting worse, my dad was having to take her to the hospital almost every night. That night she was bad, I could hear her crying from her bedroom. After they left I called James and he talked to me trying to calm me down. We eventually hung up and after a while I heard the sound of something hitting my window, I looked out and James was standing in the yard with a box of Fruit Loops and the pack of stars. He came in, we talked, ate the whole box of cereal and put the stars up on the ceiling. We laid down looking up at them, he held my hand and I finally fell asleep.