Georgia

Chapter 13

Caroline

We're at our favorite spot downtown, Zeeks Pizza. James has brought up the dreaded subject of college. It's a topic we've been avoiding, not knowing what it meant for us as a couple if we end up at different schools.

I'm pretty excited about the acceptance letters I've gotten so far. "University of Florida, Texas Tech, Georgia Southern and Penn State." I say proudly.

"Georgia Southern? I don't think you mentioned that you applied there."

"Yeah I didn't really plan on it. I was in the counselor's office and I saw the brochure so I figured, why not?"

"It wouldn't have anything to do with Luke would it?" James asks looking down at his plate picking at his half eaten slice of pizza.

That question took me by surprise. How could he possibly know about Luke? "What? How did you...I mean, Luke...what?" I stutter out.

"You talk in your sleep, Boyer. And since you seem to decide that my movie choices are a good time to take a nap I've heard you mention him a couple times." He says grabbing his crumbled up napkin and tossing it on his plate. "Luke and the tree house and something about cowboy boots?"

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I ask completely mortified, wondering if that's really all I've said. I've been dreaming about Luke off and on since I left him that morning. The dreams the same every time just reliving that incredible night we had.

"I don't know. We were trying to figure this thing out going from friends to a relationship I didn't want to complicate stuff by sounding like a crazy jealous boyfriend getting mad over a dream." He says. "But I kind of put it together that Luke was the guy that you went out with when you were with your dad in Georgia."

"Yeah, that's him. But that's not why I applied there." At least I don't think it is, I think to myself. "You know college for me has always been about getting as far away from here as I can. Georgia is just another far away place." I say putting my hand on top of his across the table.

The rest of the night not really recovering from that uncomfortable dinner conversation so I had James just take me home. Laying on my bed now, I grab my phone and text Michelle.

Hey! You & your ability to talk me off the ledge are needed ASAP!

Why? What happened?

Dinner 2nite with James & he mentioned LUKE!

What?!? I'm on my way!

I get up from the slumped over position I was in on the couch drowning my worry in a box of Fruit Loops to answer the door. It's Michelle.

"What happened?" She asks walking by me grabbing the box of cereal from my hand. "How did he even know about Luke?"

I start to protest but decide against it. "He said that I mentioned him in my sleep. I didn't even know I talked in my sleep!"

"Yeah, I've heard you but the most I've heard is you talking about your mom or schoolwork. Leave it to you to save the juicy stuff for your boyfriend to hear!"

"Seriously? The crazy thing is I remember the dreams I've had about Luke and they've had more going on than just mentioning the treehouse and boots which is what James said I was talking about. What if I said something about kissing him or having sex with him and James just doesn't wanna say anything?"

Michelle now digging in to the cereal, taking a handful then handing the box to me, "It's not like you can ask him either. Did he seem mad?"

"Not really. He was acting pretty normal."

"Maybe it's not as bad as you think. Maybe that is all you said. If he's not mad or acting any different I wouldn't push the issue."

"Yeah, you're right. I'll try, it just freaks me out that he might know more than he's telling me."

"Don't let it mess things up. You're crazy about James, that's obvious. The thing with Luke, that was one night. Just one compared to how many that you've had and will have with James?"

She's right, she's always right. It's a little annoying actually but that's why I love her. We decide the cereal isn't cutting it and start raiding the kitchen for something to make. I'll do my best to let this go and not worry about it. Things are good with James, I don't want to ruin that. I also have to try and stop dreaming about Luke if that's even possible. That night was amazing but it's stupid to be dreaming about something I'll never have again.

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Luke

Tonight is mama's big birthday dinner, everybody is gathered around the table. Kelly and Katie have been cooking all day; fried chicken, pork chops, turnip greens, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, cornbread and biscuits. It looks and smells damn delicious and it feels good to be sitting here with my family. I don't ever realize how much I've missed being home until I'm here.

We all hold hands and bow our heads as daddy says grace. "Thank you Lord for givin' me another year with this beautiful woman to my right 'n for blessin' my daughter 'n son with good lives 'n strong hearts. Thank you for keepin' Chris safe up there with ya. We miss him every day. In your name we pray, amen."

Stuffed full we all go out and sit on the porch. I pick up my guitar and start strumming a few notes that slowly turn into a soft melody. Mama and daddy next to eachother on the porch swing, Jordan and Kris laid out on their bellies on the floor watching my fingers pluck the strings, Kelly holding a sleeping Til in her arms, Ben sitting back his eyes closed and Katie sitting on the porch steps leaning back up against the railing staring up at me.

The shock of seeing Mr. Boyer yesterday still with me, thoughts of Caroline filling my head. Wanting, jealousy and there's a new emotion trying to take over my thoughts of her, guilt. Looking at Katie knowing how perfect for me she is I feel guilty for thinking about Caroline. I've done a pretty good job, besides the dreaming, to keep her off my mind since the night Katie and I decided to give a relationship a try.

There's just been one time that I caught myself going back to that night and wanting her so bad. We were out playing at Dingus Magees, everyone was dancing and drinking, the place was crowded. Right at the end of the last song I looked up and a wave of blonde hair caught my eye. My heart stopped. It couldn't be her I told myself, why would she be in Statesboro? At a college bar? The girl was thin and tall, the smoky bar making it hard for me to see her face clearly. What if it's her? It can't be.

The song ended and I jumped off stage pushing my way thru the crowd. I got to the door just as she reached to push it open, I put my hand on her shoulder and she stopped turning around, my heart fell...it wasn't her. Why on earth would I think it would be her? I apologized telling the girl I thought she was someone else and turned to find Katie standing behind me.

"Are you ok? You took off of that stage like you'd seen a ghost." She said putting her hand on my arm, concern in her eyes.

"Sorry, yeah. I'm alright." Putting my arm around her waist, "Come on let's get a drink."

Thinking about that night now I realize how stupid it was to think she'd be there. I focus back on the present, sitting here with my family, with this beautiful girl that loves me, enjoying a cool Georgia night. No sense in thinking about something I'm never gonna have again.