i know it's late :( , dont hate me <3 and omfg guys 4k reads this is unreal tysfm!!
--------------------------
Luke's povAfter an hour of useless stalling and excuses, Michael finally began to explain what the hell happened. "So, I was running around the school trying to find the two assholes that ruined my car and put eggs in my hair," he scoffed and glared at Audrey. "And the dudes that practically run that hell hole jumped me and took me to the dump. Wait Luke?" He looked at me, "Yeah, what?" I said causing to Audrey turn her attention to us. "If you're the one that called Audrey and told her that they got me, how the hell did you know?" he slouched and crossed his arms. "Well, um, I can't exactly say... right now." I shifted in my chair and looked around, uncomfortably. "Why can't you say 'right now'?" Audrey said using finger quotes. "I just, can't," I looked at my lap and played with my fingers. "Whatever I'm going to bed." She turned over and buried her face in the pillows. About an hour later Michael turned to me. "Look by Audrey's head!" I turned and looked at her. Right beside her ear was a rat I swear to god that was as big as my head. Michael slowly got up and grabbed it by its tail. When he grabbed it, it started squeaking hysterically and wouldn't stop so genius Michael decides to throw it back on the pillow. "You retard she's gonna wake up!" I whisper yelled frantically. "What else am I supposed to do?" He panics and hits it with a pillow. Nice. "What the hell, are you- AGGGHHH!" I've never heard anyone scream that loud in my life before. Before I could feel myself getting punched in the face Michael and I ran. "Your house!" I yelled. "She knows how to get in my house." We ran until we got to Michael's house. Michael's brother, Matthew, (just pretend), was sitting on the couch with the dog watch re runs of Friends on netflix. I wish that was me right now. "Before Audrey figures out how to get in the house, I'm going to sleep." I walked up the stairs and climbed into the guest bed.
-----------
The next morning I crawled out of bed and walked downstairs and sat with Michael's dog Federa. He sat up then layed back down and curled up in my lap. There was three sharp knocks at the door. I stood up and walked over to the window. I looked but there was no one there. Proabably in my head. As soon as sit back down and get my lazy ass comfortable, an egg splatters the window. Michael came waddling around the house in boxers, he saw the egg and his jaw dropped. "Luke what happened?! Oh my god my moms gonna kill me !" He ran to grab a towel and sprinted outside, immediately coming back in with egg splattered on the top of his head. "Audrey?" I asked. "What the hell do you think?" I took that as a yes. "Hey Luke, if you're so in love with Audrey go kiss her then she'll stop." Michael said with absolutely no emotion what so ever. "I never said I love Audrey." I shot back. "Don't bull shit me Hemmings, you didn't have to say it, now go." Before I couldn't respond I was pushed out the door. I looked around confused and saw Audrey immediately. Before she had the chance to smash an egg over my head and grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head. "You know you want this..." I whispered in her ear and her breath hitched. "Luke... I-" before she could finish her sentence I cut her off by pressing my lips firmly against hers. I'm not gonna lie, this was pretty nice. I'm not saying I'm in love with Audrey, because I'm almost positive I'm not, I'm just saying she doesn't suck at kissing. 'Here's my chance' I thought. I dropped her hands slowly and cradled her waist in my hands firmly. She played with the hairs on the back of my neck, while I slowly grabbed an egg off Michael's porch. Slowly, but surely, I had it. I brought my head towards Audrey's head and smacked her with the egg. "What the hell!?" She screamed and launched for the carton of eggs. "Not today," I smirked, "Have fun." I grabbed the eggs and ran inside. "Nice Hemmings," Michaels said high fiving me, "but next time you might wanna lock the door." He said pointing behind me. Audrey stood there with her arms crossed, staring at me intently. "Are you just gonna waste all these eggs?" Michael asked picking up a few. "I wasn't planning on it, were you?" I asked looking at Audrey. She shook her head. "Good, I want brownies." Michael said walking to the kitchen. "I call the whisks!" Audrey yelled running after him. Whisks? Wow ok. I walked in and seen the to ripping the cabinets apart trying to find anything the brownies needed. When Audrey found the whisks, she was done searching. So that left me and Michael looking for everything while she just fiddled with the damn whisks. Finally we had everything and it was time for Audrey to mix everything. "Why do you love whisks?" I asked. "You they're great for masterbating," she paused to lick the whisks, "I would tell you to try it but it proabably won't work well on a dick." She looked at us innocently while we just stared at her. "What?" she asked licking her other whisk. "Doesn't that.. hurt?" I asked cringing at the thought. "No dumbass, it's masterbating. It's supposed to feel good. And let me tell you, it does." She sat the whisks in the sink and looked at us. "So what do you guys wanna do while we... wow Michael right now?" Her attention turned towards Michael's pants. I looked down to see his, might I add very visible, bulge in his pants. He blushed deeply and turned around. "Seriously, that turns you on?" I asked laughing. He just shrugged. "Hey Clifford wanna borrow my whisks?" Audrey asked twirling them in her hands. "Umm... no, thanks?" His response came out more as a question. "Hey guys I'll be right back." He said and darted up the stairs. "Have fun!" Audrey yelled up the stairs. "Do you really get off with... whisks?" I asked rubbing the back of my neck. "Ehh sometimes it just depends, the electric back massagers do wonders though." She said putting the brownies in the oven. "Why do you masterbate? Couldn't you just find a boyfriend...?" I trailed kinda hoping she didn't hear me. "Oh my god, Hemmings have you never masterbated?" She asked smirking. "Umm.. well, I, uhh... no..." I looked at my shoes trying to hide my red face. "Well it's about time you learned." She leaned against the counter flashing her signature smirk.
-------/
An: unedited, proabably mistakes but idgaf lmao
YOU ARE READING
Masturbtion 101
Fanfiction"You mean to tell me you've never maturbated?!" "N-no.." "Well it's about time you learn." Masturbation 101® michaelsxpokemon© A Luke Hemmings Fanfic 2015 COPYRIGHTS©