Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Chapter 17

I was five when I had first met Han Solo and Chewbacca. It had been about a year since I had gone to the temple to be trained by Master Luke, and Leia and Han had come to visit their son. It was his birthday, and Ben was still unhappy with their agreement to send him to train with his Uncle. He appreciated the force in a very different way -- he liked how powerful he felt when weilding a lightsaber, the rush fighting gave him. And the harder his opponent fought, it only added more fuel to the fire within him.

 Ben didn't agree that Jedi needed to learn how to be calm and control their emotions. Any emotion. He thought emotions were made to be expressed, much like love. But Jedi weren't allowed to love. They weren't allowed to hate or be scared or be angry. They had to be cool, calm, and collected. I had almost begun to believe him. Jedi weren't supposed to see their family or loved ones during the process because of the love, longing, and loss that accompanied close relationships. 

Luke immediately turned Leia and Han away. He couldn't have them intruding on Ben's training, or his state of mind. He couldn't have the other younglings thinking it was appropriate to receive visits from Mummy and Daddy, and most definitely didn't want everyone thinking that Ben got special treatment because of his relationship to Luke. 

So Luke had turned them away. They both saw the sense in his decision. Their son had often been tarnishing his powers too often for unjust reasons, and they wanted him to learn to control his skills. I had meet Han and Leia and Chewy on their way out of the temple. Master Luke was accompanying them back to their ship when I had stumbled across them. Luke introduced me, not telling me they were Ben's parents, and for good reason. I would have immediately run off and told him. 

But of course, back then, wherever I was, Ben was only steps behind. He came across his parents ship as they were taking off. He had watched as they flew away. He turned sour after that. For weeks he snapped at his Uncle, much to our surprise. He was constantly reprimanded for loosing not controlling his feeling, using his anger as an ally. And slowly, I watched as my friend began to wither away, like a plant freezing in the winter. The warmth left him slowly, fading away from summer, I to fall. A month before the betrayal, he was gone. Completely. He didn't talk, or eat, or sleep. Her was distant. Until one day Luke pushed him too far. Then he was gone.

I had met Han and Chewbacca only days after the attack. I had been the only survivor, and Luke, plagued by guilt that he hadn't driven the dark intentions from Ben's mind, dropped me off with Leia and her husband. They were to watch over me. I didn't speak to them for days. How could I? There wasn't a moment when I could look at Han's smile and not see Ben. I couldn't look into Leia's deep eyes and not see him reflected back at me. The adults couldn't bear it either. Han and Chewy left on the Falcon only a month after Ben's turn, leaving Leia alone with me and the Resistance.