A Broken Heart Can Be Mend In Many Ways

Transformed

We started talking about what we liked and soon realized that we had a lot of common points: manga, music, clothing, series... Girl stuff as some would be inclined to say. The two other girls heard what we were talking about and I saw that they hesitated coming to us. I was, however, unable to go up to them and introduce myself. Because like I said before, I am a very shy person.

When they came up to us, other students had arrived and some of their friends were in our class. We all talked a little, introducing ourselves, but the teacher soon arrived and we split when we sat in the room. We had a little talk with the teacher about what was expected from us now and we got our time tables. We were then freed and got back to our homes. Classes only started the following week.

You are probably wondering why I am telling you all of this. How is all of this relevant? Well, in this moment, though I didn't know it at the time, I had just met one of my best friend to the day, one of the must trustworthy person I know and one of the persons I love the most on this earth.

Anyway. Moving on.

The year continued and we all grew closer, met new people, lost some others. As I grew closer to them and socialized a bit more, I realised I had been in love for nine years and that is why I had kept distance with human kind. I was petrified at the idea of getting hurt. With the help of my newly found friends, I gathered the courage to admit it to the person with whom I was in love with. And she took advantage of me.

Her name was Christelle and she was the only real person I had ever been friends with. Or so I thought.

She invited me that year to spend New Year's Eve at her house. With her boyfriend. It was painful enough but she decided to break me. There was only the three of us in her house and her little brother was upstairs with a friend of his. The parents were God knows where and when I arrived I was relieved they were not here. They never liked me, not even tolerated me because we were not from the same social class. Now I wish they would have been here. We locked ourselves in her room and watched a movie: Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny.

When midnight rang, they got to their feet and I followed, not knowing why though. They were standing one on each of my sides, she was on the left and Mat on the right. I did not know what they were doing and, as I was about to ask them, she leaned on and kissed me. Not a light kiss on the cheek, it was more of a passionate French kiss. And since I was in love with her, and even if I was completely puzzled, I kissed her back. What a mistake. She slightly laughed as she separated herself from me and turned to her boyfriend. "It's your turn Mat." And this jerk slipped one of his hand in my neck, the other one in my back but under my shirt and reduced the space between our two bodies to nothing. Fully shocked, my body froze. Completely paralyzed. And that was in this moment that I realized that I had walked into a trap.

They took advantage of the shock they caused me to lie me down on the floor. Christelle lied next to me and Mat knelt between my thighs. I couldn't fight the strength to fight back, to push them away so I closed my eyes and waited for this nightmare to end. Tears felt silently from my eyes. And then silence.

- I won't describe fully what it felt like in this moment because the simple memory of that moment still hurts physically and I can't seem to find the right words. -

A sudden knock on the bedroom door made me open my eyes. A rush of relief ran through my body and gave me the strength to stop them. It was Christelle's brother, Stephan. I am so very thankful that he came knocking on the door because, even though he will never know, he saved me from my greatest and worst nightmare.

I never thought that she would act like that with me, that she would go as far as to break me and this event just reinforced my incapacity to trust anyone really. I am still impacted by this though it happened 7 years ago and I believe that it will stick with me forever. Luckily, the presence of my friends by my side and some wonderful men, I am and will be able to take more and more distance with that and, even if I will never be able to forget it, I am moving on. It takes time to process and it is difficult to go far with anyone but I will make it. I can do this. I want to.

~ Eli G.