Tears of July | √

15. Feel So Close

Chapter 15

I threw on the dress I kept in my closet for over a year, since I told myself it was the dress I was going to wear on my first date. So I was going out with Lyle in a public festival a few miles from town on my birthday. I guess it wasn't much of a date, but still, I was going out with Lyle, whom I last checked was the guy I loved.

Love.

I didn't fall in love with him because he was handsome or striking (well, maybe a bit), or because of his abs, but I fell in love with just everything he was. Even all his little flaws, like being a total neat freak, or his disturbing ways of showing he was jealous.

I was confused. It was so easy to talk about love, to wish about it, to think about it, but it wasn't easy to recognize it, even if it was in my hands.

But that night, I was going to prove it. I was going to prove myself if I did have feelings for Lyle, to be specific, if I was falling in love with him.

Sighing, I stared at the silky pink dress which hugged my waist and cascaded down my skin in a comfortable way. Slipping on my white converse, I pulled my hair into a messy bun and groaned at my look. Why did I look young enough to be Lyle's sister?

Okay, Cass. Focus.

I raced down to the living room and found Lyle sitting with my parents, and I let out a breath as I saw my dad was awake now. Glancing at my watch, I had spent almost twenty minutes preparing myself. Ugh. I had no idea it took that long. I cleared my throat as the three of them laughed together as Lyle cracked up a joke. His eyes suddenly shot up and he stared at me with big eyes, the look he gave me sent sparks down my body which made me blush.

"You ready?" he asked, giving me a small smile. Mom and dad stood up as Lyle did, then we went to the front porch, my head whirring with excitement, but of course, I tried not to show it.

"We'll be back by ten!" Lyle said as he closed my side of the door in his car. Mom said something about it was okay if he brought me back home by eleven, then she started giggling.

The next thing I knew, the car was moving out in the streets, the yellow streetlights passing by like a blur as I stared out the window, the darkness and the twinkle of the lights momentarily catching me into a daze.

"Cass." I heard Lyle call. I straightened on my seat and glanced at him, his face stern and serious.

"Mhm?" I mumbled, my fingers tracing the dashboard.

"About that kiss," He paused, sucking a deep breath. "I want you to forget about that. Tonight, I just want to spend this time with you because it's your birthday, and because you're my best friend."

Ouch.

I couldn't say it didn't sting, because it did. And it stung quite hard at that.

Well, this was what I also wanted, right? So I guess that settled it. We were just best friends. He had felt nothing for me, I guess. So... I shouldn't have feelings for him too. That would be absurd, falling in love with your best friend.

Right?

I hadn't realized I was silent for a few minutes until Lyle cleared his throat.

"Cass, please say something." he said in an almost whisper. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I didn't know what was happening, to be honest. And all I wanted was to go back to my house and lock myself in my room. Was Lyle rejecting me? Or was he telling me something else?

"Cassandra." he said again, looking at me as we entered the carnival. I looked out the window as we parked along with dozens of cars. I quickly went out of the car, shivering as I glanced at my short sleeved dress. Oh, great. I forgot my coat.