Rants.

Maybe a string inside me is broke, or a gear is stuck in need of grease.

Tears fall from my eyes like a title wave swallowing the tiny people riding the cold waves. I can't breathe I need to breathe... No air is coming to my lungs and the tears are burning my skin like guilt. It's my fault I have no friends.. I only have sometimes friends, they are there for a short 5 minutes and then disappear back into the dust. I want people to actually be there.. I don't want to just be there scavenging, trying to find somebody to take me in. To give me shelter. Gosh I just don't want to be lonely anymore. Loneliness sleeps with me.. It's like a black little creature that follows me everywhere. I want it gone please. I need new friends, I need new music. I think I'm doing great and things look like rainbows but sometimes when it turns dark little thoughts creep up to me and whisper things I shouldn't hear.. I know I'm lonely I know nobody really cares about my well being.. I just want somebody to care as much as I do. Maybe a string inside me is broke, or a gear is stuck in need of grease. Whatever the cause I need it to be fixed. I don't know which way is up... Things.. Things they fall apart quickly, this is my crash and burn I've been waiting for. Oh please end soon.