I Love You

Chapter Five

Greek

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The next day, I find that it is an effort to get myself ready for school. I am dreading the walk there, in case there is a thick tension between Kazuki and myself. I am mostly certain that the air will be tense. My bad mood takes a toll on the time it takes me to get ready, which causes Kazuki to have to wait even longer.

"Harmony, Kazuki's been waiting for a while now. Are you ready yet?" My mother calls up the stairs, startling me. I tear myself from my mirror, in front of which I have been sat. With one last glance at my reflection, I attempt to ignore my tired eyes and frown, instead forcing myself to trudge down the stairs.

"I was daydreaming." I lie, forcing a smile on to my face as I grab my bag. Another, smaller bag is thrust into my hands. With another small smile, I pull open the front door to reveal Kazuki sat on my front lawn. His head is hung over, his hair framing his face. This makes it impossible for me to read his expression.

My heart catches in my throat and I feel my palms grow sweaty. This is no longer in the good way that I am used to. With a deep breath, I shut the door behind me. I am panicking. What if things go wrong? What if I start a bigger argument? What if I say the wrong thing? The sound of the door closing is enough to make Kazuki's head turn.

"It took you long enough." He snaps, pushing himself upwards. He doesn't even give me the time to catch up to him before he begins to walk off. I consider turning around and walking the long way.

No. I can survive a few minutes with him. I tell myself that leaving now won't help anything. With yet another deep breath, I force myself to catch up to him.

We walk in silence for a few moments, my mind struggling to think of a conversation starter. I don't want to keep prying in case I make the situation worse. Yet I hate being kept in the dark. If something is causing Kazuki harm or discomfort, I wish to know about it.

Before I have even settled on a sentence, my mouth opens. "About yesterday, are you okay?"

"Harmony, just leave it." He warns, his voice cold. I flinch at the mere sound of his tone, my eyes widening involuntarily. However, he should know by now that I am never one to leave things alone. I will simply keep prodding until I either get what I want, or the situation becomes too bad to handle.

"Seriously, Kaz. I get that you might not want to talk about it, but it might be better to get it off of your chest." I continue, looking everywhere else. Everywhere else but him. The hostility is coming off of him in waves now, choking me each time I am submerged beneath them. "I'll listen, no matter what it is that you have to say."

"I said leave it!" He growls, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. Kazuki shoves his hands into his pockets, picking up his pace. "I don't want to talk to you about it. Why can't you just understand that?" As he walks on, I slow down. My feet shuffle along the ground, instead of walking properly. Kazuki doesn't notice until the distance between us is far greater than usual.

"What is your problem?!" I yell. He turns around, rolling his eyes at me. Am I annoying him? Embarrassing him? I don't care. The two of us never usually fight, so I am not sure what to do in this situation. Do I continue putting up a fight until he caves in? Or do I give in, stop the questioning and hope that he tells me when the time is right? "I'm just trying to be nice! I want to help you out, like a good friend would, but you keep giving me the cold shoulder!"

He tuts quietly. "I don't have time for this."

"Well make time for it!" My response is not what he expected. I raise my voice, my hands clenching into fists as the anger boils inside of me. "I've always cared for you, Kazuki. You have always come before anyone else. I always tell you when there's something wrong, and you used to do the same. But lately you've been so off with me!"

On the other side of the road, people continue to walk past us. Though we may be wrapped up in our own world, the real world has not stopped functioning. Some stare with wide eyes as they walk past, whilst others duck their heads down and try to drown us out.

I know that we are making them uncomfortable, but I can't go on without saying anything.

"If you don't want me around anymore, at least have the courtesy to say that to my face. Don't start being an asshole and expect me to get the hint." For some reason, I cannot stop myself from yelling. There is a brief moment in which I think I have hurt him, as his eyes widen at my statement. Then he resumes his emotionless state, staring back at me with empty eyes. "Do you want me to stop caring? I'll stop asking what's wrong. I'll stop coming to see you. I'll stop calling. We may as well stop walking together, as well!"

"You're blowing this out of proportion." Kazuki finally speaks up, his voice slightly softer, but still acidic. I shake my head, beginning to walk forward. As I am about to stride past him, he grasps my wrist tightly. "Don't do this. Not right now."

I yank my hand away, glaring at him. "When you decide you care about me, you can give me a call." With that, I walk past him, attempting to hold my head high. I refuse to glance back. I do not want him to see the tears that threaten to spill.

"S'agapo." I hear him say. Everything within me wants to turn back. Everything within me wants to run back and apologize. But I know giving in would solve nothing.

So I keep walking.