I Love You

Chapter Eight

German

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My parents are completely fine with Kazuki coming over, just as I'd hoped they would be. Before the two of them can embarrass me any further, I drag Kazuki to my room and suppress a sigh of relief. My back is pressed against the door as I will my parents to stay away.

Kazuki has seated himself on my bed, as he usually does. "You still have the stars." He notes, his head leant back. His head is resting upon his hands, his eyes staring up at my ceiling in awe. My heart continues to race, making it incredibly difficult for me to focus on anything he is saying.

Everything within my body urges me to place my lips on his once more. But I refrain from doing so. Instead, I bite my lower lip and seat myself next to Kazuki.

"I wasn't really prepared for company. Sorry for the mess." I say aloud, regretting my decision to leave my room untidy. There are several pairs of brightly coloured bras strewn across my carpet. Since I take ages to choose the right one, I end up throwing the rest over my shoulder and into my room. There are also wrappers on my bedside table, from where I have been snacking during the night.

Kazuki seems to follow my gaze, searching around my room with his eyes. A blush is evident on his cheeks as he finds my bras. My bed is also unmade, as I never quite find the time in the morning to make it again. Nervousness suddenly kicks in as I lay beside him, beads of sweat growing upon my palms.

"I wasn't expecting you to kiss me back, you know?" Kazuki is the first to discuss the kiss. As much as I wanted to question him about it, I could not bring myself to say anything. "I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that."

I furrow my brows, staring at him. "Are you disappointed, then?"

"No." He is very quick to answer this question. "Not at all." I frown confusedly, lifting my gaze once more. He is still leaning back, his posture showing just how relaxed he is feeling. "I'm happy that you kissed me back. I'm only disappointed that I didn't do it sooner. If I'd known you would react that way, I would have kissed you ages ago."

"You weren't to know I was going to react that way, though." I point out, sighing and deciding that there is no need for me to be tense about it. With a smile on my face, I lay back on my bed and relax. The stars on the ceiling help to calm me down. "If that's the case, then I'm to blame as well, then. I never bothered to kiss you, either."

"Truth is, Harmony, I really like you." Kazuki tells me, shifting his body so that he is laying down beside me. He turns on to his side, staring at my face intently. I do not turn my whole body, but just my head, so that we are looking at one another. "I have liked you since I first saw you. There was something about you that stood out, something that captivated me. When we started becoming friends, I was ecstatic. I hoped I could make a move, but I was always too scared to do so.

"The closer we got, the happier I became. My fear always stopped me from acting upon my feelings, but soon enough, spending time with you became enough for me. I just came to like you even more. I like all the parts of you, even the parts of yourself that you hate." The more he speaks, the closer I am to tears. Why was I only just finding out that he felt this way? "I don't know what made me make a move just now, but I'm glad I did.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is," He pauses, raking a hand through his dark hair. Kazuki inhales deeply, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing. "Harmony, I've liked you for as long as I can remember. So, will you be my girlfriend?"

The words cannot form on my tongue, so I muster a nod and kiss him again. When I pull away, he sighs in relief. It is evident that he was not expecting things to have run so smoothly.

I giggle. "Kaz, I can't believe you never noticed that I felt the same way. Every tune we were together, my heart would beat a little faster. Every time you touched me, I felt tingles. The smile never left my face when you were around. I'm still feeling the same things now." He seems stunned into silence as I continue to talk. There is so much I want to tell him. So much I want him to know. But I fear that I will stumble over my words. I keep going, regardless. "Whenever people asked you out, I would get so jealous, but I could completely understand why they would ask you such things.

"Spending time with you has made me so, so happy. I care about you more than I care for myself, hence why I get so worked up when you don't tell me about things. It's not because I want gossip, but because I want to help." Somehow I have spun the conversation back to his mystery problem. I expect him to lash out, but he simply frowns at the mention of it. "If I can't see you smile, I can't smile. If you're sad, I'm sad, too."

"I just don't want to burden you." He mumbles, his fingers brushing against my cheek. I nuzzle into his hand, my eyes fluttering shut as silence engulfs the two of us. For a few moments, we lay there together. All I can feel is his fingers tracing my eyelids, my lips, my neck, my collarbone. His touch sends shivers through my body. His mere touch makes my heart do somersaults. "It's my mum."

"What?" My eyes open immediately. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was not expecting it to have anything to do with his mother. My eyes widen as I try to read his face. His eyes appear strained. How long has he been holding back tears?

"She's ill." His voice wavers and I know that he is entering dangerous territory. By opening up to me, Kazuki is walking through a minefield. "She hasn't told me yet, though. I'm not supposed to know. I just happened to pick up some mail while she was out. Apparently it's something terminal. There's not much they can do about it."

"Kazuki,"

"As far as I'm aware, she hasn't been visiting the doctor, nor has she been going to the hospital. I don't even think she intends to tell me, damnit!" Tears start to form in his eyes. All I can do is pull him into a tight hug as his body behinds to shake. "I've noticed changes, though. Despite pointing out obvious changes, she still insists that she's fine. We ended up arguing earlier. I was annoyed that she continued to lie to me. So I yelled at her, stormed out of the house and I've ended up taking my anger out on you."

The two of us fall into silence after that. I hug Kazuki tightly, which sends him over the edge. Tears begin to pour from his eyes. Unshed tears stream down his cheeks, before tumbling into my dark hair. He buries his face in the top of my head, attempting to muffle his cries as best as possible. The sound of him crying is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

But I have to be strong for him. So I push them away. I stroke his back and whisper soothing words.

"Harmony," Kazuki whispers, though his voice is rough. "Ich liebe dich."