I Love You

Chapter Eleven

Silence

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

When I wake again, I am in the familiar hallway of the hospital. The bleach is grasping my head once more, causing a pounding sensation to spread throughout my head. There are a pair of legs beside my own. There are also faint voices from the room beside us.

"What happened?" I murmur, rubbing my head once more. Sleep continues to tug at my brain. It urges me to delve into my dreams once more. I subconsciously decline and attempt to rub the sleep from my eyes. When I turn to look at the body next to me, I find that it is Kazuki. He is staring at the wall opposite us, his eyes wide.

He does not answer my question, so I fall into silence. I no longer know how I am supposed to comfort him. Do I hold his hand? Do I hug him? Or do I leave him to sit in silence, thinking over what has happened and coming to terms with everything? Thoughts race through my mind, pulling me from the empty hallway of the hospital.

I fiddle with the hem of my shirt, attempting to tune in to the conversation that is happening in the nearby room. It is the room that Kazuki's mother is in. There are three voices that I can identify, with another anonymous voice.

"She didn't make it?" My mother speaks up, her voice wavering. It eventually breaks. She was very close to Kazuki's mother, hence why it was so easy to become close with Kazuki. "Could there have been some way to stop this? If only she'd told me! I would have made her visit the hospital!"

"You can't blame yourself for this, love." My father pipes up, his voice attempting to sound reassuring. He is right. It is not my mother's fault. If anything, it is mine. "You weren't to know that she was ill. I don't think she wanted to trouble anyone. We did what we could to help and I'm sure she is grateful for that."

My gaze hesitantly slides over to Kazuki. Is he listening in, too? Can he hear what is being said? I inhale deeply, before sliding my hand over to his. I slowly take his hand in my own. He jolts out of whatever daydream he'd found himself lost in. His gaze meets mine and I squeeze his hand. Is this reassuring him? The most he can do is muster a small smile, before his eyes return to the wall.

"What's going to happen to Kazuki?" My mother's voice pipes up once more, asking the question that has been haunting me all morning. If his mother wasn't around to look after him, the logical thing to do would be to send him to live with his father. If his father agreed to this, he would not want to give up whatever life he had made for himself. He would take Kazuki away from me and leave.

"Looks like I'll have to take care of him." Kazuki's father speaks up. I can hear the worry in his voice. The sentence itself does not sound friendly, but his voice suggests otherwise. The tone of his voice suggests that the idea is something he has always dreamed of, but has always been out of his reach. His voice suggests that he is scared; scared of messing it up. Scared of getting it wrong. "But that would be a lot of hassle for him. Having to pack up his things, move away and find a new school."

"Harmony won't be too happy about him leaving, either. He's the only friend she has." My father pipes up again. He is concerned for my wellbeing. As much as I appreciate the thought, I do not want them to think about me in a time like this. Kazuki has to come first. "I know we need to think about Kazuki, but it would crush her. They're too close to be separated."

"But they can keep in contact over emails and phone calls." This is my mother's voice that makes this suggestion.

"It wouldn't be the same." My father copies the exact words that come to mind. Kazuki and I video call occasionally, and it is never enough for me. I like being next to him. I like hearing his laugh in person, not through a phone or a computer. I like being able to hold his hand, to run my fingers through his hair. A life without Kazuki would be dull. Boring. Unbearable.