My random thoughts/chitchat

MRI

So yeah guess who has an MRI soon...

MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

the doctor gave me three choices

1. Have an MRI to get a closer look

2. Do absolutely nothing other than what I have been doing

3. Immobilize it completely (aka possibly wear a boot or have a cast put on. Limited movement and no activity)

I obviously went with MRI and if nothing really shows up I'm probably going to go with option 3.

It's been hurting since the week of Thanksgiving. It's now the beginning of February. I can't deal with this pain. I was crying at the doctors office because of him just looking at it (not just like with his eyes looking at it. He was moving my leg around which caused me a lot of pain)

I've done four weeks of physical therapy which haven't helped. I can bend my knee a little bit more than I could before but I'm still in a lot of pain.

Today has honestly been one of the worst days I've had. I can barely walk. It hurts to pretty much do anything. I'm ready for this to be over. I want the pain to stop. I miss doing things. I'm just ready to be done.

When I first started going to physical therapy my sister said "it won't be that bad". She's never been to physical therapy. She had no idea what she was talking about. The first appointment I had, I cried throughout pretty much the whole thing. It hurt that bad.

Others assume it's not that bad. That it will get better in a few weeks or few days. But I know that this isn't something that will get better that easily. It's killing me to do almost anything now.

It's gotten to the point that I've wondered if I could get a wheelchair for a little bit to help with the pain. So I don't have to walk on it so much.

I'm taking medicine for the pain. Which has kinda stopped working. All it really does for me now is make me nauseous.

Nauseous to the point that I'm close to throwing up.

I haven't been eating the way I should be eating. I'm skipping lunch a lot of times. Breakfast is my smallest meal when I do have lunch. Dinner sometimes I feel like skipping but I force myself to eat. It's just not going well for me.

My escape from this horror has mostly been wattpad, music, and my friends. By wattpad I mean both reading and writing. I can express myself through my writing. So if you see a lot of writing from me that shows a lot of things that represent pain. You now understand why.

So... Now that I'm done with my... Whatever this is. I'm going to go probably write something. I love you guys! I'll talk to you guys sometime later <3