My random thoughts/chitchat

A little bit about me.

*warning this made me get very very emotional and I was crying so if the grammar isn't correct then I'm very sorry but that is how I wrote it.*

A little bit about me is that I am someone who will get very deep and meaningful. Even though I'm only 15 I have a lot of experience. I've lost two amazing people who lead me throughout my life since I was little.

My great grandfather passed away January 30th, 2014. That day was a happy but sad day. It was the day my brother graduated from becoming a state trooper and it was my grandfather's birthday. On the way home my mom got the call from my grandmother telling us that my great grandfather passed. I learned about it in a McDonald's. He taught me so many things. I miss him everyday and still grieve over his death. I know that it was for the best though because he was hurting and now he is no longer in pain but I still miss talking to him.

Almost exactly a year later we lost my grandfather. January 27th, 2015. Three days before his birthday. This time was different. He passed away in my family's house. I was the one who saw his eyes open for the first time in two days. They were glazed over. My aunt told me to go get my parents and sister because it was time. The hospice nurse was also there. I watched him take his last breath. I held my sister as we both cried. Even though I am the baby of the family I made sure that I stayed the strongest so I could care for the others. I was really close with my grandfather. He is one of the reason why I love jazz music, why I love to garden, why I love feeding birds, why I love model airplanes, why I love life. He made me smile even when I was sad. He is one of the places where I got my stubbornness and my habit of hoarding things. I went back inside the house where he and my grandmother lived in, the house I grew up visiting. I helped my parents clean it out. My sister couldn't step back inside. She came with us one time and cried in the car while I helped take care of cleaning it up. I miss him so dang much that it isn't funny. He was an amazing role model to me. He will forever be in my heart no matter how old I get.

My grandmother is still alive but she is in stage six of Alzheimer's. She doesn't remember who my family is. She doesn't speak much anymore. We go and visit her every week to two weeks. I miss being able to talking to her and craft with her. I miss her hugs and kisses. I miss her demanding that we fed the squirrels. I miss seeing all of her flamingos and palm trees everywhere. But I will forever love her because she is still my grandmother. She's not gone yet. She is still the same person even if she can't express that. One day she will healthy again and be with my grandfather again. One day I will join them but until that day comes I will continue to smile and laugh and help others all I can because it's something that is important to me. I want to make others happy.

I love you guys and hope you understood everything I said. Until next time <3