I'm Not Mental

Vic

The day started out as usual...boring.
I woke up to the sound of rain on my window. I have a lot of windows in my room. I love windows cause they're so pretty to look out of no matter what the outside is like.

I dragged myself out of bed and looked in the mirror 'ugly as always' I thought to myself as I glanced at my reflection.

I got ready and threw on a green day shirt and some black skinny's with some vans. I walked into the living room and, like always, my mom was passed out on the couch with a bottle of vodka in hand.

I sighed and turned to the kitchen and grabbed some breakfast. After I ate I started the long walk to school. I put in my earbuds and played some blink 182. I hummed along to the song and just imagined myself on stage with my own band on day. Haha that will never happen

I looked across the street and saw a boy about my age walking with his head down. He had long black hair and was wearing about the same thing as me. He lifted his head and looked up at something and I saw his face.

Holy.shit.his.face

I honestly never thought of myself as gay. I thought I always liked girls even though I've never dated someone before, but I never really thought I liked boys. Over the past couple of months I've been questioning my sexuality and it scares me because growing up I've always been told that being gay is wrong and I'm going to hell.

This boy had the prettiest and softest features ive ever seen. I could see his bright blue eyes from across the street. His pale skin gave him a kinda sickly but beautiful look. And I couldn't keep my eyes off of him.

As we both continued to walk, he didn't ever notice me, which made me sorta upset cause I wanted him to see me and know I was there. But of course nobody ever notices me.

When I got to school I saw the same boy walk into my math class. I took my usual seat in the back of the class quietly and cursed myself for forgetting my homework.

"Excuse me everyone may I have your attention please" our old bitchy math teacher told us.

I looked up at the boy and smiled again, when I saw he noticed me. And to my surprise he smiled back at me. His "I fucking hate everyone" thing was just an act.

"We have a new student joining us his name is Kellin make him feel welcome, Kellin just take any empty seat" he said with a smile and returned to his desk.

I looked around and noticed the only empty seat was next to me. I don't know to scream on fear or excitement. This could be a very good thing or a very bad thing.

He saw the only seat was next to me and smiled again and made his way to me. He sat down and put down his bag and looked at me.

"Hi i'm Kellin" he said putting out his hand for me to shake.

"Um h-hi i'm Vic nice to meet you" I stuttered and shook his hand. He had very very soft hands I just imagined what it would be like to hold them. ' no Vic that's not the time to think about that' i told myself as i quietly opened up my math book.

Every now and then during the lesson i would look over at Kellin, obviously he didn't notice me. But since i was closer to him this time i really saw what he looked like. His eyes were even more beautiful up close, just like the rest of him, He has a small frame and he wasn't very tall, maybe around 5,'7 His lips looked so soft and touchable ' yet again something i shouldn't be thinking about' i told my self once more. Over all the boy was perfect. I couldn't pick out one flaw in him. I hope is personality is as pretty as he is

School went by slow as always and i didn't see Kellin in any more of my classes, but he was always looking out the window, he seem so content and at peace just staring out of the window. I wish i had something that i had to make me so happy and at peace. Actually i do, its my cherry tree a couple blocks down from my house. Its always been my place to go after i would cut or something along those lines. It was far in the woods in this one spot filled with the beautiful cherry trees. My favorite is a very lonely one away from all the rest of the trees. It reminded me of how i am, away from the crowd.

I unfortunately couldn't go to my tree today. When i went home i just heard yelling from both of my parents for hours on end. There's no way i could have sneak past them without getting yelled at or even getting hit. So i went in my room and put in my headphones and started to listen to music.

My favorite song my all time low, therapy came on and i just closed my eyes and let the lyrics drown on the sounds of the screaming downstairs.

Arrogant boy
Love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you
(They're better off without you)

Arrogant boy
'Cause a scene like you're supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you
You're lucky if your memory remains

hello errbody its maddie here, i just wanna apologize for not updating in a million fucking years but in all honesty i forgot i even started writing this story, but molly brought it to my attention that we needed to continue it so yeah im going to TRY to post a new chapter every week but i cant promise anything cause i cant post mine until molly does cause of the order, ALSO CAN I JUST APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR THE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST CHAPTER IVE EVER WROTE I AM SO SORRY I JUST NEEDED TO PUT SOMETHING UP BUT HEY I WENT OVER 1000 WORDS SO YEAH THATS GOOD