I'm Not Mental

Kellin

Ugh today's the first day of school. The first day of living hell. I walk into the office and the first thing i see is that i'm the shortest one there. i'm pretty sure that there is not going to be anyone like me here. i have a basic style and all these people look like bitches, preppy and rich. . i don't mind preppy people but its impossible not to notice them. there everywhere, they just get on my nerves, like ugh.
    i swear if one of those hipsters say anything about going to a nirvana concert. i will kill them.
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    first class. i can't find the classroom i'm going to be late. nothing i'm not used to. where i used to live i would come in late every day. the teachers would just assume i'm there. i used to my advantage, most of the time. i would come just before the bell rang so they thought i was just late.

    i bump in to this 6 foot tall guy looks to be the captain of the football team. he turns around and looks like he wanted to punch me.

¨i know you the new guy and all but you better know your place¨ he spat at me.

i wanted to run away but i was trapped. he picked me up easily and threw me across the hall. i swear you could hear the sound of the lockers from the other side of the school. a teacher came out immediately recognizing that was the one i was looking for.

¨ you're keelin right¨ he questions

i swear if punching teachers was legal. like what the fuck i wish i had all of my razors i would slit his throat in an instant. i have slight anger issues. I also self harm a little but not a lot. the urge is very high to do that now.

    the teacher that found me gave me her name Mr. Casserole. interesting. i will take note that a teacher who is fat is named after a food dish. i wonder if all the teachers names are like that. he took me to his class. pretty decent size,baby blue, has about 30 kids. he asks if i wanted to be introduced. i just nodded and he gave some lame ass introduction and told me to find a seat

. i go take a seat in the back next to this Hispanic kid I saw walking earlier. He looks pretty decent, nice arms and hair, I've always thought as my self as gay. I've never actually had a boyfriend before. I introduce my self. I simple hi my name and handshake should suffice. He looks at me and tells me his name is vic. Vic is a nice name. Pretty average but what in this school isn't average. The only thing different about this kid is that he is wearing a green day shirt.

     Green day is amazing. I would like to have a conversation about them with him. I hope he is not wearing that shirt just because. My favorite green day songs are kill the dj, Jesus of suberia, and 21 guns. Then I realize there is a window next to me and this vic guy. 

    did i ever mention windows are AMAZING. they are so pretty and also dangerous. you could jump out one or you could peacefully look at one. if i ever kill myself it would be from out a window into a tree. tress are also amazing. you can climb them and look at them and you can live in one. i have done that. i dont really get along that well with my parents well......DINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG. i guess i didn't realize that thinking makes you zone out.

Something else i also saw was him staring at me the whole time, I would usually just turn around and say some rude remark cause having someone stare at you is fucking creepy. But with him it wasnt creepy, i actually thought it was kinda cute, I wonder if hes gay too. The way he looked at me i would guess he was. I made sure he didn't think i noticed cause i didn't want for him to be embarrassed.

    i skip last period at the cherry tree i have been staring at it for the past hour. i think im going to get used to this tree this tree is beautiful and supportive. i will make this my new skip school spot.
    the afternoon bell finally rings and i can go home. i walk home in the intense Los Angeles sun. I already hate this place. I would much rather freeze then sweat. I like jeans not shorts im not starting to ware shorts just because of the weather.
     I walk in the house everyone seems to be staring at me. The school must of called about me not coming to any of my other blocks besides math. I know when I'm not welcome and I walk back to school with my overnight backpack. Water, food and clothes this should be enough. I climb back on the cherry tree and pick a sturdy branch near the top. I do what Katnis did in the hunger games got some rope an tied myself to the tree. It's about 8:30 when I finally get set up.  I ate some chips and i play on my phone, I'm glad I brought my portable charger. Its about 10 now I'm going to sleep.