No More You.

4.

This chapter is a full flashback chapter.

It had been two full weeks since the night Taylor walked in the ensuite to see her girlfriend on the tiled floor in labor, covered in blood and sweat her hair sticking to her reddening cheeks, Taylor could remember so clearly those green eyes filled with pain. It had been a week since Ainsley stopped breathing, their emerald eyed Angel had been took from them and now Taylor was planning her daughters funeral without her better half.

"Hey Taylor, how are you?" Lily, the girls mutual friend finally asked after spending the past two days with the girls helping out with little thing. The blonde gave her friend a small smile but refused eye contact. "I'm holding up I'm more worried about Karlie than myself. We'd been so looking forward to Ainsley's arrival Lil, we had the nursery decorated, her name was already on a preschool and kindergarten register. I didn't even get to hold my baby, I will never to see her smile, or hear her laugh, or comfort her. I won't ever see her grow up Lily and I'm trying so hard to hold it together for Karlie because she's so broken she just cry's all the time and she won't eat or sleep, but I'm not strong enough." Taylor quickly wiped her tears away on her sweaters sleeves not caring about the stains.

"You don't have to be strong all the time Taylor, your daughter just died you are allowed to grieve as well as Karlie. Tell you what you go spend some time with her go upstairs put a film on and just hold her, I'll sort out the rest of the funeral arrangements I mean you've already told me everything that needs doing."

Taylor agreed and quietly left the room not looking back at her friend, although she was aware of the sympathetic look she was being given. She didn't want sympathy, she wanted her daughter and her partner but one of those was impossible. The blonde found her girlfriend after five minutes of looking for her, laid on the light pink carpeted floor in their daughters nursery. The taller off the pair was laying staring at the glow in the dark stars they had placed on the ceiling a few months prior. Taylor laid directly next to the girl on the floor, not saying a word as she grabbed hold of her girlfriends hand and squeezed it tight.

After a hour of staring at the ceiling Taylor began to feel her eyes droop, she hadn't had much sleep in the past fortnight and it was unfortunately catching up with her.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for Kar? You haven't done anything." Taylor replied, her tired state making her delirious.

"I'm sorry for not being woman enough to carry our child to term, if it wasn't for me I would still be pregnant with Ainsley and we'd have her here with us in a few weeks time. We never got to hold her not properly Taylor, she was so tiny so, so tiny she could've fitted in my both of my palms put together. Why couldn't it have been me Taylor? I wouldn't mind if you left me you know, for a women who's better at being a woman than I am."

The blonde squeezed her partners hand tightly. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you and only you. Ainsley wanted to be freed early then God decided when she was born that she was far too perfect for this earth so he took his correction our Angel back, and she is going to guide us and watch over us every damn day Karlie. She would not want us moping around like this wishing we were in her place instead because, God took her back for a reason, and he left us here for a reason. Sure it's fucking hard we lost our daughter, but we will get through it we won't get over it but we will get through it. Let's just lay here and forget everything for a while and just remember the time we had with her even though it was only a short time."

Karlie turned on her side to face Taylor and stare into those wonderful blue eyes that made her fall in love.

"I'm sorry for not helping you arrange the funeral. How are you holding up, you've been fussing over me so much and the funeral that I don't think I've seen you cry or get angry once."

Taylor flipped off her side and sat up the taller girl was right, the blonde had only cried once and that was in front of Lily. She couldn't cry, she couldn't explain it but it was like she had gone numb. "I am.. I don't honestly know. I feel like I've gone numb, I can't feel anything but pain and you know pain just numbs itself after a while. So I guess that's what's happened with me. But don't you worry about me, come on let's get you something to eat yes?"

(-)

Two hours later both girls had eaten and decided to get some sleep, informing their friend that she was more than welcome to stay but she politely declined.

"Taylor, can we go on the rooftop garden for a while and look at the stars together. I just want to lay with you outside and see our baby shine down on us before I get my shit together"

"Sure baby, come on grab a few blankets and the pop up tent we will sleep outside tonight. But don't think I'm doing this again until summer is back!"

The two girls got there things together and laid on the soft fake grass on the roof, they entwined hands and began spooning each other not saying anything just listening to each other's breathing and looking at the stars.

"The brightest one there, you see? That's our daughter I swear to you it just got brighter as I saw it." Karlie said seriously, not caring that Taylor was now laughing at the moving star. "Karlie sweetie, that's a plane. I'm sorry but our angel isn't a plane."

"Ah, I thought there was something off about that star getting brighter like that. Taylor, can we just lay here and forget the world, forget what we're told and just fall in love with each other all over again. I don't want to grieve just for tonight I want it to be about us and our future."

I am struggling with writers block but I'm getting there now. I'm hopefully collaborating on Gravity with Em_Delevingne we're just trying to work out where we would want the story to go. If anyone else wants to collaborate on anything with me just message me. I need co writers due to the amount of work I have at uni. You will get credited.