In His Eyes

18

Avon's POV:

"Did that just happen?" Liam asks shakily.

"Pinch me and I'll let you know if I wake up." I say. He pulls out his long, muscular, strong hand an pinches me.

"What the hell?!" I scream. "I didn't mean it literally." I sigh.

"Oh, well I had fun doing it." He smiles. "Ass." I groan.

No. But did Finnick seriously say that? I feel so bad now that he actually thinks I'm dead. Honestly, he is the only person I care about in the Capitol right now. He knows where I'm come from. He knew me just by looking at me. Trust me I'm not that much of an open book.

Maybe Haymitch just told him anyways. He wouldn't follow my orders would he? I don't know. All of this seems like too much and I just woke up.

"So what are we going to do today besides "hide" I guess is what we should call it?" Liam asks.

"I don't know. There isn't anything to do. Here much less in the proximity I'm eligible to go in." I complain.

"Well, we could hide. We could possibly sit. Oh and if you really want to do something cool, we could sit together." He says sarcastically.

"I really want to punch you." I say as I plop down on the couch.

He just laughs and plops down right beside me.

"Whenever you were at the Capitol, was there a connection between you and Finnick?" He asks.

"I mean. I guess so. But, I didn't know he felt it too. I just thought I had something like a "school girl" crush on him." I say.

"Well he obviously did feel something."

"Does he know that you are actually alive? Was that just a show?" He asks.

"I told Haymitch to not tell him the truth. I don't think it was a show. Who knows, it may have been."

"There's no way it was a show." He says.

He was probably just saying that out of sympathy. He's probably like all other people in the
Capitol and was just trying to get people to feel bad for him since he was so "sad".

It didn't feel fake though. Something felt so real about it.

I could see it in his eyes.

_______________________
(1 month later)
_______________________

Finnick's POV:

"Finnick. I have to tell you something." She laughs.

"What is it darling?" I smile at her.

She looks into my eyes and breaths shakily.

"I wanted to be with you." She says.

This takes me by surprise. "Wait. Really?" I ask.

"Finnick, I've loved you ever since the night I first arrived at the Capitol. You were there for me Finnick."

"I love you." I say as I put my hand on her cheek and kiss her elegantly.

Her lips, so soft.

"But I actually have a question."  She says pulling away from the kiss.

"Yes darling."

"How come you didn't stay with me? How come you just left me that day?" She asks.

"No. No. No. I- I didn't want to. I-I had to. I didn't mean to." I say.

"But you did."

"Finnick you left me. Didn't you think that if you would have stayed I would still be alive today." She starts to cry.

"I'm so sorry. I-I'm so sorry. I would do anything to have you hear. DAMN IT! ITS ALL MY FAULT." I scream and fall to the ground.

My body starts to rock itself back and forth.

"It's all of  my fault!" I scream repetitively.

"It's all my fault!"

"It's- all my fault...." I say barley audible because of my sobs.

Everything around me turns dark and she slips away.

"NO!" I cry.

"AGHHHH!"

"Finnick." Says a voice.

"Finnick."

"Wake up."

_______

I woke up to see Effie with a worried look on her face.

I start crying and she just hugs me.

This is now my nightly routine. I started to have the nightmares a couple of days after the funeral.

"Shhhhh." She try's to sooth me.

"I'm sorry."

"No darling. It's okay. I'm the one who is sorry." She says still holding me.

Even though Effie isn't really old enough to be my "mom" it feels like she is. I was never really grateful for her because I just thought she was just another Capitol mole rat. Now I know she's not.

"Another night mare?" Says a masculine voice coming from the door way.

"Yeah." I shake off as he motions for me to come outside to the balcony with him.

I get up and follow him outside.

He stands and takes in the view for a couple of moments. I do the same. It helps me relax.

"You have night mares every night don't you?" He asks.

"Yeah. No matter how hard I try I can't get myself to not dream about her." I sigh.

It's the same dream every night, but it feels so different every time.
It starts out all happy, me and her. I thought forever. Then everything turns to hell with one question.

"It's okay. You know? To have night mares. You loved her didn't you?"

"Of course I did. It's like I lost her before I even had her."

"Finnick. You'll see her again. I don't know when, but you will." He says and pats my shoulder.

"But, you need to live your life. You need to find something productive to do besides lay in that bed and smell like garbage. Speaking of when was the last time you brushed your teeth? It smells horrible I mean-"

"Look Haymitch, I don't know what to do. I've just been sad these past couple of weeks. " I sigh.

"A couple of weeks? More like FORVER. How about you work out? Or help train careers in districts with me?" He suggests.

I think about it for a second. Honestly, I guess I should do something productive. Just to get everything off of my mind.

"Okay fine. I'll help you. When do we leave?" I ask.

"Well, since it five in the morning we leave this morning at ten. But, for right now.... Try to get some sleep. You look awful."