The Sky is everywhere

Chapter nine: Pain and Prejudice

Chapter Nine

Pain and Prejudice

Scars reminds us not to dig the hole in our heart. Happiness tells us that there is no hole that can't be filled. – Life

I was a little shaken by her almost non-existent courtesy. I got under my covers and let sleep take over me.

The next morning I went back to Teresa's. BRB, whatever she likes to be called. I told my team to meet me after a week so I can sort things with her. In order to befriend her I needed to learn everything she liked. So I asked Suzy for advice.

"I don't know."

"Come on help me a little!"

"Now days teen girls like Justin Bieber, I highly assume she likes it too. That's what normal teens like." Normal. I knew she was far from normal from what I have encountered. I thought so, not because there was a cancer joined with her but the fact she was by far the most bitch calling person I have ever met. She makes me remember Chloe Grace Moretz in her purple wig in Kick-Ass.

"You know what I will ask her mom. Thank for the help Suzy. "

I hung up and went downstairs to eat my breakfast.

I studied the modern Gus profile for a while. I learnt my mistake from yesterday. He's name was Josh Ivy. He looked a doppelganger of Ansel Elgort. He had deep blue eyes and round nose. The freckles on his face was the most captivating part of his face.

He looked humble. My mind shifted back to Theresa.

I didn't feel like bribing BRB would help. She was stubborn and definitely not materialistic. The only way I could melt her is by bringing the sun but I doubt it would make a difference. She had a fire in her eyes. The sun was pale compared to her fierce self. Her eyes itself had the power to burn and freeze the world at the same time. I was just little tiny riddle that she would burn in no time. I looked at my blank screen. I wasn't able to write anything. I couldn't write how stupid this entire ride has been. Or how mistakenly thought that fifty shades of grey was some revolutionary book about a girl. Maybe I should just really relax. Or pretend to relax.

"So have you meet Theresa already?" I twisted my neck and found a boy the same age as Teresa.

I stared at him awkwardly.

"Uhm." I mumbled. I didn't remember his name.

"I am Josh. The boy that you were studying for a while. "He smiled. I closed the file and cleaned my table.

"Oh! Josh. I thought I was supposed to meet you at your home. Why didn't you call me? Your mom has my number right? You didn't need come here. " I smiled apologetically.

"Yeah, I didn't. But I wanted to. "

I hugged him. I felt this weird thing about him. I had only meet him for a few seconds but I had developed motherly instincts for him. I felt so bad for him that he had to come all the way.

"Don't feel bad. " He pleaded. I motioned him to sit with me. I offered him breakfast.

"No. I just had my breakfast. "

"So what brings you here?" I asked.

" I just needed to talk to you. The week before has been hectic. I didn't know who to talk. "

"what do you mean?"

"I wanted to you know, just do this quickly." He rambled.

"HMm."I nooded.

"So..."He looked at his feet and clasped his hand together. "You have met Teresa already, huh?"

"Yeah. Can't say it's been okay." I joked.

"She is just taking this whole thing badly. She is not a bad person. She is just coping the way cancer wants her to. To isolate herself and punish her for something she is not responsible. Cancer is a shitty way to dealing with life. It's like pre-invitation of death. Cancer is what death looks like from outside. Everyone is in the audience. Doing what an audience should do. Just stare. And the bloody doctors are Directors. " He laughed bitterly.

"I am sorry If I got carried away. I just uhmm.. I just wish Teresa wasn't in this situation. "

The fact that he had mentioned Theresa and not him makes get to the conclusion that:

"You like her..." It sounded more like an affirmation then a question.

"Like is an understatement for me. "

"When did you meet her?"

"We were both in the same school. In the same class. Dealing with the same shit. Just in different levels. I guess god didn't feel satisfied so gave his invitation. We never talked after we were diagnosed. It hurt me. My own pain was just an empty glass. I never felt more pain then seeing her in the mirror. The way she looked her herself. I didn't have any romantic feelings for her. It was just the plain rope holding us together in the shitty ride of cancer. "

"Would you date her if you weren't in this situation?"

"That is a wrong way of saying. But I will forgive you. It's not that if I'd date her or not if we weren't in this situation. It's just that some relationships are not meant to start. Because the moment you start, you become attached. And attachment is never good for cancer."

I looked at him with pity. He saw as well.

"I am not good at this, okay? I just..." He groaned.

"Josh you don't have to talk now, you know?" I felt bad.

"No.. I want this end fast. I want to give this shitty interview and for you to go away. Not that I have any harsh feelings towards you. It's just I am not feeling anything heroic like they would say in movies, in books. I feel like a fucking tsunami is laying in my body. It's destroying everything that comes in between. There is nothing I could do." I unknowingly I spilled the tea on his hand.

"I am so so sorry."

" I wouldn't blame you. It feels good. It feels good to feel pain. It makes you feel alive. Something that I haven't felt in a long time."

I smiled. I was engrossed in him. I wanted to give him every happiness in the world. Anything he wanted. I wanted to give to him.

I didn't know I could feel this way. It broke my heart.

When Josh went home. I instructed him to call me when he reached.

The meeting was overwhelming. I felt like for the first time, I felt attached. I felt like he bared his soul with him. I wish Theresa could do the same. Funny. I thought how bratty Theresa was. But I finaly understood. It was never Theresa. It was the cancer showing its peaks of destruction. Shoving me away. I felt like the only way to bring back her is to stand next to her.

Life is a drug. Life is a place we feel many emotions. Life is so much more. But what is it for us?

I wanted to do anything for him and Theresa so they didn't have to go through this. I guess the only thing I could do is take away their cancer. But sadly by doing that I would have to take away their life. Cancer is something that doesn't let you win. It takes little pieces of you time to time and you don't even realize until it has taken all of you.

I knew that after meeting them, there was no turning back.

AN

These chapter is the most important chapter, because it is a point where the real fun begins. Do you think that Anna will succeed? Do you think BRB, I mean Theresa will let Anna Help her? What do you think about Josh? Is this chapter convincing enough? Am I a good author?

Chapter ten

Hold on, everything is going to be alright

g����y-�