Dead Without You ~ Jerrie Thirlwards (Sequel to Dead To Me)

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Jade didn't know what came over her a few days ago. She never meant to act like that, and she knew Perrie would never lie, yet she couldn't believe that was actually Perrie. She began pacing her house, trying to think of alternate ways to spend her time. All she could think of was Netflix binging or visiting Perrie's grave again, to clear her mind. She knew visiting Perrie wouldn't do too much good for her mental health, but she felt obligated to visit because she felt horrible. And no matter what, she could always count on Perrie to calm her down. Even from the grave. Even if she was actually walking around, completely alive.

She walked into her bedroom and grabbed a grey hoodie, eyeballing the only picture she had out of her and Perrie. It was the one from the dance, her favorite one. She let a small, exasperated sigh leave her lips as her gaze drifted down towards the hoodie, her fingers toying with the soft material. Jade finally slid the hoodie on over her top, pulling on her trainers and grabbing her things. As Jade exited her flat, a brisk gust of mind-numbing cold whipped around her body, leaving Jade shivering as she cursed at herself for not grabbing a coat. She wasn't going back inside, lest she convince herself not to go.

Jade drove to the same stand, bought the same flowers, and made the visit to the same place, but something was off. As Jade solemnly, silently walked towards Perrie's grave, she noticed someone squatted in front of it, intently reading it. Jade's first thought was that it was Perrie, judging by the darkening blonde hair, but she then remembered that Perrie was much too ill to be traveling at all, let alone in chilly winter weather.

Jade trudged along, refusing to let this person's presence at Perrie's grave deter her from her intentions.

"Um, excuse me?" Jade called out quietly, dragging her foot along the ground nervously.

The person's head snapped up, revealing a familiar face. "Huh? Oh, hey Jade." Katherine mumbled, giving a small smile.

"Hey, Spires. Mind if I have some alone time with Perrie?" Jade asked, hey gaze flickering to Katherine's eyes briefly.

"Yeah, I was just about to leave anyway." She casually replied before walking off towards the gate. Just before she walked off, she turned back and gave a small wave.

Jade let out a small sigh, watching the air puff in front of her. "It's now or never." She muttered, looking at the engraving on the headstone once more.

She placed a kiss on Perrie's name again, not bothered by her old habits.

"What I did to you was horrible. I had no right to be so rude to someone as kind and caring as you, Perrie. I know you're alive, as hard as it is for me to believe, but I feel more comfortable here. I didn't come here to apologize, I'll do that in person. I came here because I'm lost. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have anyone left. Lou ran off and found a girl named Danielle, so we've drifted apart. You spend a lot of time with the girls, so that's not an option. Harry's been keeping to himself recently, and Niall and I broke up. Liam is doing great, his girlfriend is nice. And Zayn? He's still an egotistical bastard, but that never changes." Jade stopped and chuckled softly, gazing solemnly at the sky for a brief moment before looking at the headstone again.

"Of course I have my parents, but that's not what I'm looking for. I'm just a burden to them anyways. It's best if I don't bother them. I'm so utterly alone, again. It's like the day you died all over again. I curled up into a ball and sobbed for hours, not aware of anything happening around me. I felt like I had no one to look to, no one to count on. It was hard. I got through it, but I couldn't have done it without the love of my—our friends. But either way, I always know I can come to your grave and talk to you, because you'll listen to me. You won't interrupt, and you won't question my words. You always were a great listener."