Talking to William // l.p [discontinued]

Chapter Two - Dizzy Smiles

Two - Dizzy Smiles

When the nurse comes in to check the chords stuck to my chest, the ones that monitor my heart patterns and the ones that actually keep me alive, I open my mouth for the first time, other than to cry, since I arrived, the first time in 13 days.

"Do you have a laptop I could borrow?" my voice comes out all breathy and hoarse, like I haven't had water in a year. The young nurse startles but smiles down at me and nods. She fiddles with the heart monitor beside my bed for another few minutes before patting my knee comfortingly and leaving, hopefully to fetch me a laptop.

She comes back in, an iPhone 5 in one hand and an Apple mac in the other. I look at them in astonishment and she grins. She hands me the mac and quickly types in the password for the iPhone, sitting down near my legs before handing it over to me as well.

I look up at her, confusion all over my face. "Is this your phone? Why did you give it to me?"

She motions to the phone and I hand it back to her. She takes it in both hands and starts typing away. I push myself up, so that I'm sitting up straighter and try to peer over her shoulder at the phone. She turns her head slightly and smiles, turning back to the phone and finishing whatever she was doing.

Over her shoulder I read; I'm going to make you a twitter account, the other nurses and I decided you should start talking to people again. This is my phone but I really only use it to text people, so you can have it for as long as you need.

I feel a frown forming between my brows as she then pulled up the twitter app and creates an account for me filling out the basic information before handing it over to me, an inquisitive look in her eyes. I look at her dumbly and she lets out a breath, caught somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.

The nurse, who looks to be about 23 or 24, points at the little box where you're supposed to put your @ name. I look at her, then down at the phone, finally catching on. I don't even have to think about what name I want, it's the name I use for any internet website. @DizzySmiles.

I hand the phone back to her and start picking at loose threads in the cotton sheets while she hooks it up to her email account, and does everything else she needs to do. I lie back against my multiple pillows feeling exhausted and thirsty. I curl up under my doona, hugging the big stuffed lion one of the other older nurses had bought me from the gift store down the road on my second night here.

I curl around my lion's body and try to fall asleep amidst the beeping of various machines. I feel the young nurse stroke my hair behind my ear letting her hand rest on the back of my neck for a few seconds before getting up from the bed and flicking off all lights in my tiny hospital room and shutting the door.

***

"I love you, Diz."

"Love you, too, Ant."

"No. I mean it, Diana. I really do love you." He looks me in the eyes, and my seventeen year old heart flutters frantically in my chest. I grin at him and link my fingers with his.

"I love you too, Anthony. Really and truly."

***

My mind won't stop torturing me. All I do is try to pinpoint when and how everything began to fall apart.