drop dead ; phan

xv

"shit!" dan hoarsely screamed, kicking at the ground, making chunks of dirt and grass fly up around him. "i can't believe it was phil. i mean, come on! phil!" he laughed incredulously, doubling over onto his knees in front of jai's headstone. he had been there for about half an hour, screaming curses at the sky until it pained him to voice a simple whimper. bite marks were etched into his knuckles from when he forced himself to keep quiet, and his knuckles were bruised and cracked from when he had taken his anger out on some trees.

"i'm sorry," he choked out, rubbing his temples with his throbbing fingers.

"i am too," a painfully familiar voice said from behind him.

"you," dan growled, his eyes darkening quickly, "you killed him." letting out a shrill scream, he pounced to his feet and lunged towards phil, pinning him up against a tree nearby. he didn't try to resist, just limply lied there, seemingly not noticing dan's fingernails digging into his shoulders.
"you sick, twisted, heartless bastard," he hissed through gritted teeth. phil didn't respond, the bottle of beer simply dropping out of his hands and crashing into a hundred pieces around their feet.

"aren't you going to say anything?!" dan shouted, releasing phil onto the ground. he staggered around, showing how pathetically drunk he was. dan hissed, swinging his foot around as hard as he could manage and colliding it against phil's cheek.

"thanks, i deserved that," he coughed, his voice raspy. "i at least owe you an explanation, please." dan stood angrily over him, reluctantly nodding for him to talk.

"long story short, i owed some money and was wanted for my uh, alternate skills," he said, rubbing his eyes and rising to his feet.

"alternate skills?" dan scoffed, crossing his arms. "do you call murdering an alternate skill?"

"i was the one who killed whoever i was told to, which happened to be jai on one occasion," he said, leaning against a tree.

"how many people have you killed?" dan hesitantly asked after a moment of silence. his voice quivered as he asked it, but he tried his best to not seem intimidated.

"i've lost count," phil mumbled under his breath. he took a step towards dan, who immediately flinched away. phil's eyes widened, taking a few moments to form something to say.

"a-are you scared of me?" he breathed, furrowing his eyebrows. dan gulped, his lips pursed in a tight line.

"phil, you're a hired serial killer. how can anyone not be?" dan shakily asked, taking a few steps away from the taller boy in front of him. phil shook his head, opening his mouth to speak but no words being able to come out.

"who's matt?" dan asked, trying to put strength into his shaky, fear-stricken voice. phil gulped, his breathing heavy and uneven.

"chris's cousin. he stole thousands worth of drugs and i was sent to kill him. and i did," he said darkly, biting on his bottom lip.

"you killed jai," dan repeated under his breath, shrugging his shoulders as if at a complete loss for words.

"i know, i know, okay! don't think i got away with it," he grumbled, running his fingers through his hair.

"i can't simply let this go, phil. you murdered, what tens? hundreds?! of people! i should turn you in," dan scoffed.

"i don't expect you to let this go, but still, i can't go back and save jai. or anyone else, for that matter. i can't just get out of this, dan, and for that, i'm sorry." he said, turning around and walking away. "i'm gonna go. you'll know where to find me if you decide to.." he trailed off, shoving his hands in his pockets.