Nobody's Perfect But You're Perfect... To Me (kellic)

Chapter 7- The drug in me is you

****TRIGGER WARNING****

Oli's pov-
I am such a failure. I lost the one I love. I need to stop. I need help. I am turning into my father. I hate my father. I hate myself. I have let Kellin down. He used to love me. Then I got addicted and lost myself. Who I used to be, was a good person. I can't live like this, but I can't change. I have no one left to help me. Therefore I can't change.

I might as well give up. Give up trying. Give up caring. Give up breathing...
I like that idea...

I like that idea very much!
Almost although I was in a trance, I walked to the bathroom and grabbed the first razor I could find, I think it's Ronnie's. I'm sure he has another one! I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed some whiskey and pills.

I did what I had to. Then I lay on the floor for no apparent reason and waited for my death. I am meant to be in a lesson. I forgot that. I tried to sit up but failed. I'm so confused. Black spots filled my vision and I smiled as I remembered. This was it. I can't disappoint anyone anymore.

Josh's pov-
I was sat alone. I normally am in biology, I sit next to Oli but he usually skips the lessons. He is a great guy, too bad he probably doesn't even know who I am. He is so cute, especially when he actually smiles, he hasn't in a while.

"Mr Franceschi! Pay attention!" Mr Way shouted at me.
"Can I please use the toilet" I asked trying not to laugh at my own politeness.
"Can a duck? Probably, but may you?" he asked annoyingly with a hair flip.

I didn't need the toilet so I was wandering pointlessly round the corridor when I heard some banging from Oli and Ronnie's room. Are they fucking? Damn you Ronnie!
Wait, Ronnie is in my class for science. Oli is alone?

I knocked but got no response. I really hope I'm not interrupting anything... Walking further into the apartment it was a mess! This is so creepy... Like someone is gonna jump out at me at any moment.

Shocked. Shocked wasn't a word anywhere near strong enough to explain what I felt.
Oli: the boy I have liked since I saw him, the boy who acted so strong... the boy who no one cared about, but me.

Oli was lying on the floor, cuts covering his arms, all of them fresh, and an empty bottle of whiskey laying beside him. I walked over to his still peaceful body. Pills surrounded him and his face had a twisted smile.

Panicking, I forgot how to function. Eventually I managed to check his pulse, he wasn't dead... yet...

Time slowed down as I screamed and shouted, I needed help, I didn't have my phone because a teacher had taken it earlier. Everyone was in a lesson. No-one could help me.
I sprinted down the corridor into Chris' office and explained as quickly as I could through my tears.

He called for an ambulance and sat with me while I cried. Oli barely ever spoke to me, that should make this easier for me (not that finding someone like that is easy for anyone) but it only made it harder. I loved this boy who probably didn't know who I was.
Chris didn't make me go back to class. I didn't want to see anyone, other than Oli smiling like he did once...

Still crying, I looked up and saw Chris looking at me worriedly,
"No boy should have to see that" he told me sadly. I know that, but he doesn't know the half of it.
"I loved him" I whispered to myself. I honestly couldn't care less if Chris over heard, he can't tell anyone what I say, it's a rule. It was probably inaudible anyway.

"Oh, if given the choice, would you do it again?" I questioned quietly. I got no response. How would he respond?

"Umm Josh, you've been sat here for over 2 hours," Chris said gently, I looked up at him, my eyes hurt from the crying and I had lost track of all time, everything had happened in slow motion and now time wasn't a thing that mattered to me when my world was so messed up. I need to stop being so overdramatic but I saw the boy I loved taken away from me. Will I ever see him again? Will he ever know how much I love him?

"When can I see him?" I asked weakly my words not properly formed making me nearly impossible to understand.
"I don't know..." Chris responded truthfully, "soon I hope." I will check for you." he said before leaving me sat alone on the corridor floor.

After what I guess was a few minutes but felt like forever, Chris re-emerged from his office looking somewhat relieved. I looked up at him, my eyes still stinging but my heart was hopeful.
"We can see him after school. I don't expect you to go to anymore lessons, unless you want to take your mind off of this. Unfortunately, I still have a job to do and I can't allow you sit in the corridor all day. You can do whatever you want but if you get too upset please come see me, you have been through alot and I would happily help." Chris spoke fast and it took a while for the words to settle in. Tears filled my eyes, he didn't say anything about his current condition.
"He isn't dead..." Chris said almost like he read my mind.

I was left alone yet again, he isn't dead! that's a good thing... Using all my strength I pulled myself up, leaning on the wall as I walked aimlessly down to the main part of the school. The bell rang and the corridor flooded with people as I walked on unsure of where I was actually going.

I got a few odd looks, then again who goes to the toilet and doesn't return for 3 hours? I found Mr Way and apologised but he shouted at me causing me to break down again. He looked so confused, poor man. Mr Way took me back to Chris and Chris must have explained since I didn't get shouted at anymore.

I just wanted school to end so I could see Oli.

A/N I am so sorry, I will do a bit more of this in the next chapter then we will get more Kellic again. I did intend for this story to have lots of ships so... I am so sorry. If this was really depressing sorry, it depends on my mood and with everything that's been going on it ended up a bit intense. I will try not to make anything too sad.
Vic x