Nobody's Perfect But You're Perfect... To Me (kellic)

Chapter 8- James Dean and Audrey Hepburn

Oli's pov-
Different frames flashed before my eyes, starting as more recent memories before getting to some of the deepest buried memories I had tried so hard to forget.

Dying; although everything was blurry, I could just about make out a face. The face of the only one who could make me happy anymore. The face of someone who probably wanted nothing to do with me. The face of someone who I fell in love with, although I knew I didn't deserve love after Kellin. The face of someone who tried to help me. I can't believe he had to find me. That would be terrible for anyone. He sounded so desperate as he called for help.

The drugs; how no-one cared. The nights I sat alone. The way I just couldn't stop and no-one would help me. How people just watched me kill myself slowly... all I did was speed up the process.

Kellin giggling on our first date; we were sat on a blanket in the park with a wide array of party food and fresh fruit surrounding us. He was so fascinated by the park that we ended up going on everything atleast twice. At the time I thought our love was  forever...

The first days at the school; the judgemental ass-holes who thought they were better than everyone. The people who become so close but then leave you. The people who used to care. The people who accepted you, and the ones who didn't. The inspiration in everyone's eyes. The inspiration that is now long gone.

Home; the word itself is misleading. Home. Home. More like hell. The shouting, the abuse, the blame, the hatred, the names, the lack of acceptance, the lack of care, the lack of love. Home. The house in which I was forced to live in. Home. The word always made me feel sick, atleast I never have to go back to 'home'.

The train; the train my mum jumped in front of. Her last words never leaving my twisted brain, 'I wanted a son, but you, you are no son of mine. You are a faggot!' my dad never let me forget her final words after. He hated me anyway but at this point I was suprised he didn't just kill me. He was close enough, but no. I always had to live to see the next beating.

The memories faded in and out quickly but not quickly enough for me to ignore. The memories that had haunted my dreams at night for so many years hurt more to see in this way.

'One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching' This is what Mr Way told the class once, I never forgot it but never acted on it. I failed to make my life worth it. Maybe I just need more time... it's a bit late now though. His words echoed in my pounding head.

I need another chance...

It's too late...

I forced my eyes open and saw a blinding white light. Instantly I re-closed my eyes as a sharp pain stabbed through my head. Dying is supposed to end your pain, is this really the end?

Once again I opened my eyes and, after they had adjusted slightly, took in my surroundings. I appear to be in hospital.

You can't even kill yourself properly!

I get another chance...

I just wish these voices would stop tormenting me....

I was taken out of my thoughts by the door opening. Looking up I saw Josh, I couldn't help but feel terrible. He looked so broken; seeing him like this was like being stabbed in the heart repeatedly.

"You're awake..." the broken boy said, his voice a mixture of hope, confusion and concern. I looked up at him through my tears and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry..." I croaked before coughing pathetically.
"Why?" He asked barely audibly.

Wait, why did I do it? Or why was I sorry? This boy confuses me, but I like it, he makes my stomach erupt in butterflies... Just like Kellin used to...
But Kellin isn't here, he has Vic. Vic has Kellin, and Vic has a loving family. A family that don't hate him. Vic saw what my dad did to me, but he couldn't help... Maybe that is why I disliked him, his life wasn't hell.

Before I could answer his question a doctor entered and asked Josh to leave.

"Hello, I am Doctor Cage but you can call me Nick. Ermm... Stay here until someone can collect you. You will be under constant supervision but won't have to go to a hospital that specialises in mental health. Since this is one off, if your nurse thinks it necessary for you to go away then you will have to but for now you will just be watched. You need to stay on your medication and don't do anything stupid." he finished his speech bluntly before walking out.

~~<^>~~

Chris came to take me back and as soon as I got to college I felt terrible, the looks from everyone, the sadness, the concern, the mock and the confusion.
"Who will be watching me?" I whispered so only Chris could hear.
"Actually, it's Josh." he started, wait what?! "He was training in medical health for a while and the hospital thought it would be wise since he could share a room with you. Ronnie has offered to swap." I just nodded trying to take it all in. Everyone was being so caring. People care about me... Maybe I can do this.

Everyone gets stuck in the dark sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel never seems to come, but sometimes someone special will come along with a torch and help you find your way. These people are the ones you need to hold on to, the ones who really change your life.

A/N Sorry I didn't update recently. That last part is absolutely terrible but it's so true. Mine is my lil brother MCR_12198. Noone really reads this anymore but... I have 100 reads like wtaf!! Thankyou!!
For this chapter can we try 2 votes and 3 comments
Vic x