letters to camila // s.m ✓

letter one

Camila,

I'm writing this letter for a reason I am not sure of yet. Everything that happened, happened so quickly that I don't understand anything.

I'm so sorry.

I never wanted this to happen. You never deserved this. I lied to you for so long, because I was selfish. I thought that if I told you the truth, everything would change, and it did. I stole your future. So I'm sorry for that. Now I have to live with knowing that maybe if I hadn't have waited so long, you wouldn't be there. It's because of me that Mondays and Tuesdays and our friendship will never be the same.

You're going to be there for eight years.

I really don't know what to write, because I don't know what you want to hear. Life is sucking right now, and I'm sure it's sucking even more for you. I just miss you like hell and I can't get over this feeling that this is all my fault. Down to that first time Hunter told me to lie to you. Trust me, I beat myself up for it everyday, and if I could take it back, I would.

I hope prison doesn't change you, because you are one of the most amazing people just the way you are. You aren't supposed to be there. Sure, everyone might think that, but I know that. And I hope you believe it too.

See you soon.

Shawn