How I Met Your Mother - Pilot S01 E01

The Year 2030

"Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story. The story of How I Met Your Mother." I said to them, excited for them to hear the amazing journey I took into meeting their own mother.

"Are we being punished for something?" Said Luke.

"No."

"Yeah, is this gonna take a while?" 

"Yes." I replied, wanting them to be psyched.

"25 years ago, before I was dad, I had this whole other life. It was way back in 2005. I was 27, just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college. My life was good, and then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up."

~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~

"Will you marry me?" Marshall asks, bending down onto his left knee. 

"Yes, perfect! And then you're engaged! You pop the champagne, you drink a toast, you have sex on the kitchen floor!" I hesitate..."Don't have sex on the kitchen floor."

"Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out Ted." 

"Are you kidding? It's you and Lily! I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lily. The night you met, the first date, other first things..." I trail off, slightly disturbed. I take a swig of my beer and then look away.

He laughs and then says, "Yeah, we thought you were asleep."

"It's physics Marshall, if the bottom bunk moves, the top one moves too. My god, you're getting engaged tonight! I lean against the fridge, taking another swig of my beer.

He nods. "Yeah...what are you doing tonight?" 

~~~~The Year 2030~~~~

"What was I doing? Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life, and me? I'm calling up your Uncle Barney." 

~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~

"Hey, so you know I've always had a thing for half Asian girls?" I pull the phone away, rolling my eyes. "Well now I've got a new favourite. Lebanese girls...Lebanese girls are the new half Asians." He starts, grossing me out.

"Hey, you wanna do something tonight?" I ask, hoping for an answer.

"Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And SUIT UP!" He says, hanging up.

~~~~FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER~~~~

I walk in to find Barney staring at someone at the bar.

"Hey." I say, walking to the end of the bar.

"Where's your suit? Just once when I say 'Suit Up', I wish you'd put on a suit!" He scolds, 

"I did! That one time." I grin, reaching for my wallet.

"It was a blazer!" He shouts, looking disgusted.

"You know, ever since college it's been Marshall and Lily and me. Now it's gonna be Marshall and Lily, and me. They'll get married, start a family. Before long I'm that weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call Uncle Ted." This earns a slap off my blonde haired friend.

"I see what this is about, have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?"

~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~

He sits down beside me, snaking one arm around my neck.

"Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live." Who was this person?

"Barney, we met at the urinal." He points. 

"Oh right, hi..."

"Lesson one: Lose the goatee. It doesn't go with your suit." He says. What the hell was wrong with this guy?

"I'm not wearing a suit." I say, a little creeped out at him.

"Lesson 2: Get a suit. Suits are cool, Exhibit A." He gestures to his black and white striped suit, nodding at another girl at the bar. Lesson 3: Don't even think about getting married until you're 30."

~~~~2005~~~~

"30. You're right. I guess it's just, your best friend gets engaged, you start thinking about that stuff." I say.

"I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I'm your best friend."

"You're my best friend Barney." He was so pushy back then.

"Good, then as your best friend I suggest we play a little game I like to call...Haaave you met Ted?"

"What? No, no, no, no, no. We're not playing Have you met Ted?-"

"Hi. Have you met Ted?" He sticks his tongue out at me. Jerk.

"Hi. I'm Ted." I say, smiling delightfully.

"Yasmeen."

"It's a very pretty name." My charm always brought out the best in people.

"Thanks. It's Lebanese." I nod, interested.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys! So I'm basically gonna write the entire TV Show out in episodes....so like, 1 episode = 1 book if you get what I mean, so I hope you check it out! There will be 7 parts to this story, and I'll notify you about when the next book will be up and running :)

Thanks!

~Natalie