conversation hearts • malum ✓

february second

michael is awoken to victorious by panic! at the disco, their milky hand pulling the black bedsheets over their head in an attempt to hide from the day ahead. they give up soon, sitting up and slipping their feet into grey slippers. they pad over to their closet and pull out grey dress pants rather than the school kilt, not really feeling up to quite as much bullying. when they wore their kilt to school yesterday, the bullying was worse than usual. luke knocked into him in the halls rather than just sneering, and he coughed slurs as he passed michael instead of just dropping a paper with the harsh words at their feet.

they didn't want the bullying to become that bad on a regular basis, so they decided pants would be better to wear even if they felt like a skirt. sighing, michael got dressed in school uniform and walked downstairs with their bag on their shoulder. their mom was nowhere to be found, but a bright yellow sticky note on the counter explained it all: "michael, i'm doing a double shift today. there's money in the cookie jar, buy some dinner for yourself if you want. mom."

the bleach-haired doll sighed- their mom always does a double shift at the hospital. nursing and sleeping with some eating in between isn't really living, and it made for a lonely time. michael was almost always alone at home because their mom worked all the time, and their mom was alone when not with colleagues or patients. either way, she kept their debit card full and cash readily available- money can only buy happiness to an extent, but material items sure could fill the void that money couldn't really fill.

michael made some tea in a travel mug before pulling on a jacket and shoes to leave, skipping breakfast like normal. they never ate breakfast- why eat more calories than necessary? michael saw no point. he started the trek to school, walking rather than taking the bus to burn calories, enjoy the abnormally warm february day, and to avoid classmates they could encounter on the bus.

when michael got to school, they moved along the wall to their locker. there, they changed into uniform shoes and got the needed materials for their morning classes. first period was biology, which was slowly killing michael's average. either way, they enjoyed the subject- they didn't need it for the university program they were interested in, but learning a bit more about living things was always a pro in michael's mind. shutting their locker, michael walked to the science wing. they hesitated outside the door, not wanting to go in. class didn't start for five minutes, but they needed a good seat- the mental tug of war was quickly won by anxiety and expectations michael held for themself, so they slunk into the almost empty classroom.

michael enjoyed biology, except for the fact that their teacher didn't get their gender. she was very scientific, and didn't see anything outside of the gender binary. of course she didn't do this on purpose- she has a rainbow flag bumper sticker! it's just that gender was such a simple idea. as boys have penises and girls have vaginas with no room for variations, mrs. cormier couldn't see the logic in complicating it. therefore, michael had to go from they to he for biology.

as mrs. cormier starts to lecture about lab safety (they're doing a dissection in class tomorrow), michael spaces out and begins to think about luke. one of his main bullies, always discreet and meaner than the rest. how he could hide his cruel soul under such a lovely, perfect façade would always mystify michael. everybody loved luke, except for michael. they despised the blond boy with a fair amount of passion. michael stops mid-thought. luke has a best friend. how does calum, this best friend, not know about what a horrible person luke is?

michael shakes their head, not wanting to think about superficial things when their teacher is pulling down the projector screen. this signifies that she's going to start a new lesson with a powerpoint. michael takes out their binder, flipping to a blank sheet of looseleaf paper. they get out their favourite black muji pen, and a sandwich bag with a green conversation heart on it falls to the floor. the heart says "ur cute" on it, which made michael blush when they found it taped to their locker that morning.

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pls tell me if i called michael he instead of them anywhere bc i wrote a lot of this late at night and misgendering (even in fics) isn't cool

anyway michael is adorable and lonely here like me irl (except i'm just lonely not adorable)