Constellations
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I ask myself many times a day What am I to her? or actually What was I to her?
It has been 2 days since we broke up.
I miss her touch, the smile upon her face, laughing at my cringe worthy jokes. I miss saying her name, miss the sound of her running footsteps. The smell of her hair. A faint scent of lavenders. Yeah. Lavenders.
Our happy times are over. At least....for her it was. I still linger in the past, waiting for a miracle.
The day we broke up was just any normal day. Except it wasn't normal. My door was hanging on it's hinges. I watched it swing once...twice.
"Should get that fixed." I murmered to myself. I could still see her movements. Slamming the door so hard, the entire house shook.
Sighing, I turned away from the swinging door.
48 days since breakup.
My head throbbed. The beer cans splattered before me was a dump. I got up groggily and stared at the clock.
1.37 p.m.
I groaned and flopped back down.
1.38 p.m
Ring ring. Ring ring.
I sweared in frustration. Pushing myself up again, I reached for the phone.
"Yes?" I mumbled into the phone.
"Hello, this is Hillside Hospital. Are you the guardian of - - -"
I put the phone down in shock. Grabbing my jacket and keys, I raced out of the door.
The door swings once...twice.
Her pale sickly face poked out from the bedsheets. I stared motionlessly. Is this really her? The optimistic enthusiastic girl?
I took her hand.
"Hey..." a weak voice came from the sheets. Scrambling towards her, I kneeled down beside her.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Nothing much. You don't need to worry."
"I don't need to worry?! You look like you're dying!"
She chuckled.
She chuckled?! In this situation? How could she? How could she do this to me?!
"You should've told me! No. I should've sensed something was wrong." I couldn't help but the blame myself.
"Stop. It's not your fault."
Her words broke my heart. I was in pain. She did this for me.
"You broke up for me."
"I know."
"Why?"
"It was the best for both of us."
We sat in silence.
"Look. I can't be cured. There's no point for me to stay in the hospital any longer. I don't want to die here either."
"Don't talking about dying! You're not going to die."
She smiled at me sadly. I knew she was going to die and she did as well.
"How long..." I whispered.
"Two weeks..." she whispered back.
Two weeks later.
She rested her head against my shoulder as we gazed at the star constellations.
"You know...they say when people die...they float up into the sky and become one of the stars in the sky." she mumbled.
I held her hand and rubbed it gently. "Yeah, and they live very happily up there."
"You think so?" she murmered happily.
"Yeah, definitely." I replied. Stars seemed to twinkle in response.
She pushed herself closer. "I...I feel tired."
Tears filled my eyes. "Then sleep."
I patted her hair as her eyelids began to droop.
"I love you." my voice seemed to echo into the night and around.
Her breathing got slower...
"Jhope?" her weak voice cracked.
"Yes?" I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.
"I love you too."
The night air brushed her hair away from her face as she slipped into eternal slumber.
