Natalie's Journey: Saving Daniel (on hold until...)

Chapter 4: Temptations are of the Past

                                            Matthew 26:41

"Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 

Chapter 4:

The stench of alcohol is the first thing I notice as soon as I enter Daniel's house. Secondly I notice the many crowds of people believing that all they are doing are 'having a good time' when really they were sinning. Thirdly I notice the druggies in a corner along with the half naked girls in the centre of the dance floor. It saddens me to think that at least half of these people in the crowd were ones that freely claimed to be Christians. What an example they were setting to others... I like to call them the 'lukewarm' Christians. You either choose the pleasures of the world or you choose Christ. I chose Christ. It's one of the reasons why I call myself a child of God and not simply a christian. The word 'christian' seems to have no meaning anymore.

I glance back to Dane insecurely, "How are we going to find her in all these people?" I ask with a strained voice. 

I feel his hand grab steadily onto my shoulder but in a gentle way never the less, "Trust in God." he simply says and begins pushing through the crowds in order to find Sasha and I hesitantly follow. I really do admire his faith.

It had been a little over a year since I had been to a party. The more I take in the surroundings of drunk people or drugged up people, the more my nerves begin to shake. I begin to feel more and more anxious along with claustrophobic by the second. Memories and flashbacks of my past experiences come back to me and hits me with a wave of nausea. I feel sick remembering the way I use to be so how can God not feel sick when he searches my heart?

I shouldn't be here.

When I look around again I take in the fact that Dane was no longer in front of me anymore. Panic immediately sets in as I look around frantically for his presence but all I find is more and more people with no Dane insight what so ever. I should've been paying more attention. 

My stomach begins to turn in knots at the thought of being left alone at this party where evil people were continually lurking around. My hands begin to shake as Satan begins to attack me. My breaths become more shortened and strangled as my panic only begins to increase. My whole body is trembling and I can tell it's about to happen again. 

I hadn't had an anxiety attack since I had given my life to Jesus but now the symptoms were arising and I could feel it coming on. I was struggling to breathe and soon I'd faint. I needed to get out of the crowd but the more I tried the more people I came across. 

My head was spinning and just as I thought I was about to collapse a hand comes out of no where and grabs my upper arm and pulls me along until we reach an empty room. Thinking that it was Dane who had rescued me I lift up my eyes, but not to be met with warm friendly brown eyes but instead I am met with familiar cold green eyes.

"Daniel?" I ask softly as I put a hand to my head which was now throbbing.

I can't tell which is worse, being surrounded by tons of drunk people as an anxiety attack begins to take place or being alone in room with Daniel Blade as my anxiety attack begins to fade. I think I preferred the first option. Daniel was dangerous and he terrified me.

"No sh*t Sherlock." he says as he takes a seat on his bed and watches me intently making me very uncomfortable. "And it's Blade to you."

If he wasn't comfortable with me calling him by his first name then I'd stick by Blade until he'd allow me to call him Daniel. I ignore his horrid presence in order to take in his room. The last time I'd been year was more than two years ago. Everything had changed since then. Everything is still here but his heart seems to be misplaced. His room use to be black and full of posters of girls, motorbikes etc. all the things that a normal teenage boy was expected to have but now his room was empty. The walls had been painted white and his bed spread was white. He had revamped his room to the complete opposite of what it once was.