Skinny Love » LH // au

26. Madison

3 weeks later

It's been 3 weeks since Luke went back to the states. It's also been 3 weeks since I've heard from him. 3 weeks of silence. 3 weeks of him ignoring my phone calls and telling me to 'fuck off'. 3 weeks of him saying I ruined his life.

Th guilt has been eating me alive. I eventually stopped eating because whenever I would go to eat, I thought about what I did. I broke up a relationship because of my stupid lies.

Luke and I didn't sleep together.

I should've told him before he left but I'm a bitch and didn't want to. I hated Scarlett because she had Luke and I wanted him.

I was selfish and manipulative and wanted her to suffer. Well, I can see she's suffering a lot based on her tweets.

@scarlett_clifford : I hate everything

@scarlett_clifford : never been more alone before

@scarlett_clifford : why do ppl ruin other ppl's relationships?? It's pathetic.

I just couldn't stop thinking about what I did. I knew I should tell somebody to get it off my chest but there was no one I wanted to tell. My parents would be so disappointed in me.

"Madison, darling?" Speaking of my parents.

"What mom?" I yell back.

"Your father and I are going out. While we're gone maybe you could work on fixing whatever's been getting you down," she suggests.

"I won't be able to fix it, mom. You don't know what I did."

"Well honey, you don't know if you don't try! I won't make you tell me what you did but maybe you could call Sam and talk to her?"

Sam! I could talk to her! "Oh yeah! You're right mom. Thanks. I'll get her input. Have fun with dad," I give her a kiss on the cheek and rush up to my room.

I had no clue what time it was in Texas but I didn't care. Sam always had her phone on and I knew she would answer me. I haven't talked to her in over a week.

I dial her number and wait for her to answer. She picks up after the second ring. "Jesus Christ, Madison. It's 4 in the fucking morning!!! What the hell do you want?"

"I need to talk to you," I state, not worrying about her crankiness.

"About what?"

"What I did. With Luke."

She stays silent then responds, "shit. You mean the thing that broke up him and Scarlett?"

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Didn't you sleep together?"

"No. We didn't actually sleep together. I lied. I feel so awful about it and the guilt has been eating me alive for weeks. I need to tell you everything that happened and then I need to find a way to tell Luke."

She yawns on the other end of the phone, "alright. I'm listening."

"Well it was the night of Dan's party..."

-FLASHBACK-

"Come on Luke! Just one drink!" I say as I extend a cup full of vodka his way.

He laughs, "no! I've already had enough I don't want anymore."

I pout at him and walk away to go find Dan.

I was drunk, but not drunk enough to not know what I was doing. I weave through people trying to find Dan.

"Hey! Dan!" I yell. He turns around and waves at me.