Tormented Future

Fallen Roses

After what happened we all returned to my aunt’s house, my mother is sheds of tears my grandmother the same with other family members crying as well.  My uncles where fuming with rage pacing back and forth muttering to themselves. My friends were beside me calming me down, I was in tears but more so with rage I wanted that son of a bitch dead and I wanted to be the one that does it.

“I’ll kill him” my uncle Steve states “I’m going to kill him” he says again

“Not if I beat you to it” I say under my breath but he heard me.

“Oh Jesus Maya you ok?” he asks

“I would say I’m about as ok as anyone right now” I say looking him in the eye.  He seems to understand that nobody here right now was ok; they were scared, sobbing or absolutely raging. 

After a while everyone seemed to calm down people stopped sobbing, others didn’t look as scared and my uncles had calmed down dramatically.  I was still filled with rage but the tears had stopped. Without even thinking I say “I’m sorry”  

“Maya what are you sorry for?” My uncle asks.

“It’s my fault, all of this is my fault” I wasn’t really talking to anyone, I was mainly thinking out loud.

My uncle grabs me by the arms, his grip tight but not enough to hurt me but enough to startle me out of thinking.

“NO! MAYA GOD DAMIT!” he shouts. Seeing my startled expression he sighs but still not releasing me “None of this is your fault do you hear me? none of it” I pull from his grip and stand.

“All of it is my fault. I’m the one that was stupid to walk alone; I’m the one that started all of this.  He wanted me. He was looking for me. If I had of been there, my father would still be alive.” I cry.

“Is that really what you think Maya?” my mother asks.

“It’s true, I could have saved him, everything would have been different if I had of been there”

“oh baby! No you can’t think like that. This is not your fault. This is his. If you had of been there that night Maya we would still be here right now. Your father died to protect you and he would have done the same thing had you have been there. He would have killed for you Maya. And if you had of been there, we might not be at your father’s funeral we might have been at yours and baby that would kill me a lot more than this” she says with my head in her hands now. 

Tears streaming down my face “I miss him so much momma”

“I know baby I do to” she says pulling me into a hug.

After a few moments I pull away wiping at my face.  I notice that I had even made my uncle cry.

“So much for me being strong for you two” I laugh as I look at my mom and grandmother.

“Oh sweetie. You have been. You’ve been our rock today when it should have been us being strong for you. It was you being strong for us” My grandmother says.

I feel arms wrap around me from behind and I panic a little. “It’s ok its only me” I hear Tyler say.  I relax instantly with a small smile on my lips.

“where have you been?” I ask

“Around, keeping out of the way unseen but I’ve seen everything happen, I’ve heard everything Maya. Why didn’t you tell me that’s how you felt?” he asks

I shrug knowing that even though we were whispering people where still looking.  “I don’t know but let’s talk about it later” I say giving him a small kiss on the lips. I pull from his grasp and turn back towards everyone; I see a little pain flash over Kyle’s face but it went as quickly as it came. I hadn’t met his new girlfriend yet I didn’t even know if she was here right now.  I look around see all the sad faces it was understandable but it wasn’t my father he was the happy chappy type of guy and had he been here right now he would have every one laughing at some stupid joke.  It was then that I made the decision to do what my father would do. Cheer people up. So I turn towards the kitchen, grab a tray of full of different kinds of alcohol and return to the living room to where the people that matter most to my father and my family where.