Tormented Future

Unwanted Realisation

I regain consciousness thinking it was a nightmare but then I feel his hands touching me, feeling me. I hear him moan as he slips in and out of me.  I feel the weight of his body on top of me and make an attempt to get him of me, only to realise I’m weak from the loss of blood and the throbbing pain in my head continues as I lose consciousness again.  I come in and out of consciousness a few times only to feel the same things and to hear him groan and moan as he take pleasure from the pain he is causing me. I don’t know how long its been since this began but as I come around again I feel stronger, lighter and ready to fight my attacker off me, but as I make a move to get him off me I realise the only reason I felt lighter was because he was no longer on top of me.

I turn my head to see if I’m safe from the foul monster that has cause me pain but as I turn my head from the right to the left I see him standing above me fasting his pants. He sees that I’m awake and he smiles an evil delighted smile and says “Thanks Whore” and runs off in to the darkness of the ally. 

Feeling more awake then before I try to stand but the pain in my body and throbbing in my head causes me to fall back to the ground.  I look for a possible way to get seen from the neighbouring houses but my only option is to crawl. I get into position to move when I place my hand in the blood surrounding me. MY LEG! I shout in my head, I had forgot it was bleeding, I was losing more blood by the second, leaning back against the wall I try to stop the bleeding with my hand and hear my phone ringing in the distance and I cry for help only to see the blackness of losing consciousness again.

“Katie have you guys found her yet?” I hear a familiar voice as I start to regain consciousness again. “Wait, I’ve found her phone, she has to be around her somewhere” Its Kyle my friends were looking for me. I tried to shout but nothing came out and I start to panic that he won’t see me that I will die in the dark alley where the monster roams.  Dying right here right now I wanted to, but I knew If I gave up now, the people I left behind would fall apart and the monster would be free to do this again.  I hear a moan and I fear that he has come back to finish the job, then I realise it came from me as Kyle turns and sees me.

“MAYA!! WHAT HAPPENED” he shouts as he runs towards me. Unable to speak I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t sure I wanted to form those words in my mind or say them out loud. Why did this happen, this couldn’t be happing.

“She’s in the ally by the church, hurry she’s in bad shape” he says down the phone as he goes to pull my close.  I pull away and he instantly recoils “Its ok Maya your safe” he says gently but still does not touch me.  Although I felt safe in his arms and he knew my body better than I did, I still couldn’t let him touch me but I cry as i wish I could, I wish his touch would take away the touch of the man that caused me so much pain physical and emotional and I knew that this night would always haunt me, it would always torment me.

“Maya stay with me, look at me focus on me ok? You need to stay awake” he says as he sees me drifting back into the darkness that holds the monster. I try to fight it but it is a battle I lose as the darkness takes over.

I feel movement as I regain myself again I open my eye to the sight of Steve Katie’s Farther standing with the door to his car open as I am placed inside. I start to mumble “Blood….. Car… Everywhere” I say dazed.

“Don’t you worry about that now” Steve says making sense of what I was trying to say. I see the sadness in his eyes, the pain behind them as he looks at me. This was never anything I had ever expected to see in his eyes at least towards me. “MAYA!!” I hear Katie shout as she sees me but before I can say a word or look in her direction the darkness takes over.  

I wake up, eyes still closed as the dream drifts away from my memory.  I expect to wake up to my room, but as I open my eyes I hear the beeping of the machines and my parents asleep in the chairs beside my bed.

“Mom, Dad...” I start barely audible “Why am I here? I don’t want to be here, why am I here? Let me out” I cry as I rip the wires from my body. My mom and dad wake immediately start to attempt to calm me.  “SHHH! Sweetie its ok, your safe here” my mom says with tears streaming down her face.

“NO! NO! NO! it was just a dream, it wasn’t real. I….. NO! why couldn’t it be a dream..” I scream as the tears fall down my face. My Mom hugs me crying with me stroking my head. I hear the door to my room open but I don’t move from my mother’s embrace. I open my eyes to see my dad crying with us. My dad wasn’t the type to cry not ever, I had never seen him cry not over anything but here he was crying with me and my mom and I realise that it was all true. The dream that had drifted away as I woke wasn’t a dream at all. It was all true.

The doctors reattach the wires and replace the bandages with new ones. I wouldn’t let go of my mom so they struggled doing so but managed to do it. I continued to cry, while my mom held me, until my eyes ran dry. I pull away from my mom after what seemed like forever and wipe my eyes, I take a look at my farther and I can see he wants to hold me to take the pain away but I wasn’t sure I could let him. That monster violated me and I couldn’t even let my own father hold me.

“You’re okay, your safe, your alive and that’s all that matters” my mom says fast that I think it’s more for her than me.  My mom tells me that I’ve been unconscious for 4 days and the doctors weren’t sure if I would make it after the amount of blood I lost and the head injury I had sustained. She told me she gave permission for the forensic people to do the rape kit on me and I said I didn’t mind I would have said yes anyway as I wanted them to get the person… no the monster that had done this to me.

My Parents leave the room to talk to the police and I try to remember the events of that night, trying to recall all that I could all that I wanted to remember, I didn’t want to remember what had happened after he grabbed me but I knew that the police would need to know everything I could remember.  I make a mental list of I did remember: I was at Katies with my friends after college, when I left I made my way to the bus stop, I was grabbed from behind, I was attacked and stabbed in the leg, I was raped.

With that thought I curl into a ball and say the words out loud “I was raped” I cry for the realisation and the pain in my leg but I don’t move I cry until I hear the door to my room open and I jump up straight to see my best friend standing in the door staring at me like she walked into the wrong room. After a moment she runs towards me and wraps her arms around me tightly and we both cry together.