Tormented Future

Torn Apart

The day passes by slowly I’m in a haze, I’m aware of my surroundings but not what’s happing within it as I dread what tomorrow could bring, would it bring my attacker to justice or would he be able to walk the streets and spread terror to others. The seconds seem like minutes the minutes seem like hours and the hours seem like days while I wait for answers of my unanswered questions.  When the time comes for bed I couldn’t be more grateful the day already seemed like a long week had passed but finally in the morning I would find the answers to the questions that I hold so deep.

*-*

“Are you sure you want to go? You don’t have to put yourself through this” my mom states

“Yes I need to go mom, if I don’t I will just be pacing my room wondering if he gets bail it will drive me crazy. I need to do this mom, I need to face him” I say almost pleading.

She finally agrees to let me go and drive me herself. On the way to court we sit in silence neither of us saying a word as the sound of my heart beating in my ears drowns me.

*-*

We sit in the court room listening to the defendants lawyer talk a whole load of crap.

“My client is not a fight risk. The only evidence that is held against my client is the words of a child seeking attention.”  I wanted to punch him I wanted to jump out of my seat and attacker him. I kept my head because of where we are I might not have been able to if we were anywhere else.

“the defendant is granted bail pending a trial”  everything after those words spoken happens in slow motion, the hammer hitting the counter top, the roar of the visitors rising in the court I didn’t even realise I had stood up until the words left my mouth.

“you can’t let him go, he’s a monster, he will hurt someone else. He’s a monster he will do it again you can’t let him out” I scream hysterically.  My mom drags me out of the court room and drives me home.  On the way home my mom makes a call to my farther and told him the news all I could do was cry while looking out of the window. Where was he now?

“Maya I’m so sorry he shouldn’t have got out” Katie says as we pull into the driveway of my home and climb out of the car. She hugs me and as soon as she lets me go Kyle hugs me lifting me off my feet.

“im so sorry Maya”

I was to stunned to speak I hadn’t let a man touch me since that night not even my own father had touched and here I was hugging Kyle back and not freaking out over his touch.

When we let each other go, everyone was staring at us. I knew it was because they knew I hadn’t let a single man touch me since it happened. As if finally realising what he had done Kyle started to apologise I just waved it off and did what I had wanted to do for weeks. What I had wanted to do since that night.

I ran towards my dad and wrapped my arms around him; the moment I head touched his chest I cried.  He wrapped his arms around me so tight I forgot what I felt like to be held by my father to have my arms wrapped around him.

 “Daddy I’m so sorry i…”

“SHHH baby Daddys here its all going to be ok”

“I’ve missed you so much daddy”

“I’ve missed you to slugger” he cried

I felt safe in my dad’s arms, I loved him endlessly and I knew I didn’t have to look up to see if he was crying I could feel it in his chest. It was as if a broken part of his heart was being fixed as I held him and I never wanted to let go.

*-*

When I opened my eyes evening was starting to fall and me and my dad where still stood outside hugging each other. I felt the chill of the night that was about to fall and shivered.

“we should go inside now slugger.” My dad said breaking the silence.  I nodded in agreement but is still didn’t let go of him, nor did he let go of me as we made our way inside.

I had asked Kyle and Katie to spend the night and it was 11:00 when I finally let go of my dad. Me, Katie and Kyle had been talking in my room for an hour and it felt like old times when they would stay and we would stay up all night talking but this time it was different, this time I was different. I had changed because of what had happened to me, I wasn’t sure of the full effect of that change yet but I understood that I had.  It was coming close to 12:30 and we had decided to call it a night. We lay down in bed, Katie in the double bed with me and Kyle in the single bed as our heads hit the pillow and we said goodnight we heard a car screeching to a stop outside of my house. All 3 of us jolted out of bed and dived towards the window. What we saw made my stomach drop and my head spin.

Officer Cally and officer Ranch ran towards my house.

We all looked at each with confused frowns and at the same time made a jump towards my bedroom door.  We made our way down stairs Katie and Kyle behind me; I had made it half way down when officer Ranch didn’t give me a chance to speak.

“Pack your things you’re coming with us” he said. 

“Like hell I am until you tell me what’s going on” I replied angrily at his ill manners, and thinking he can order me about. I didn’t like Ranch to begin with, now he was bossing me about like some child.

“Carl Phinn has threatened your life, you need to come with us for witness protection until the trial” he informed me

“Carl Phinn that’s the monsters name” My mam said clearly figuring out what I already had.

Before I could respond Kyle and Katie grabbed my arms and pulled me towards my room. I was frozen in the door way of my bedroom, helpless. Kyle and Katie packed my suitcase with everything I would need, moving from my draws and wardrobe to bathroom and back again.  I knew he would do something I just never thought it would be against me……. Again!

I run from my room and down the stairs finding Ranch and Cally where I had left them. They had their backs to me talking to my parents “CANT YOU ARREST HIM FOR THREATING ME?” I shouted.

Unfazed by my shouting they turned to face me. “No, he hasn’t actually done anything to impact the threat; however we can’t take the chance that the threat isn’t real. Are you done packing?” Ranch asked. 

“Yes” Kyle says walking down the stairs with my suitcase, Katie was right behind him.

Tears fall down my face and run and cuddle both my mom and dad.

“I don’t want to go, I can’t lose you’s, I need you’s, don’t let me go please I want to stay here with my parents. I love you both” I cry.

I hear the sobs of my parents escape them as they hug me tightly.

“We don’t want you to go sweetie, but it’s for your own safety, we can’t lose you, you’re our darling little angel and we love you so much but you have to go.” My mom sobs.

We pull away and I hug Katie and Kyle.

“I love you both” I whisper.

I pull away and Kyle kisses me softly “I’ll be here when you come home, I’ll wait for you” he whispers in my ear as he pulls me in for another hug.

I’m taking to the police car and driven from my home left with the sight of my parents crying at the front door.

*-*

We were all silent in the car as we passed the first hour of the drive. We were heading south where to I didn’t know. I missed my family and friends already why did any of this have to happen? He raped me took my confidence, self-esteem and violated me, traumatised me and now he was coming to kill me.

I was forced from my own home in order to keep myself safe.  But what about my friends and family would he hurt them to get to me? With that question in my head I break the silence “you have to protect my family and friends he will hurt them just to hurt me. You have to make sure they are safe too”

“I will personally make sure your family is safe.  We will get your friend’s protection to I promise” says officer ranch

I was unsure how long it would be until I would see my home again, my family and friends I missed them so much already, I couldn’t stand to think how long it would be till I saw them again.