Fake Your Death

Chapter 1

*possible trigger warning*

Why was I even here?

Why the hell did I come to this state?

I was so confused when the reality hit me in the middle of a grocery store in Florida of all places.

I had told myself that I'd come here to visit my dad and step sister, but I had no intention to do so now.

So why was I here?

One day I woke up and was just like 'wow, I should go to Florida, right now.'

And I did.

So now I was here. In the middle of a Florida grocery store, shopping for milk.

It was so hot in here, but I couldn't take off my jacket, I hadn't worn sleeves long enough to cover the numerous scars lining my arms.

The scars were because of him.

Today was a painful reminder of that.

It'd been 4 years since they found the note.

They'd never found his body, I'd been so sure that it was all some sick prank.

It was nearly a month after the funeral that the reality hit me with all the force of a freight train.

He was gone, and it was my fault.

I hadn't noticed.

I hadn't noticed how much he was hurting, I hadn't seen him breaking.

What kind of friend doesn't notice when you're slowly dying?

I had been too naive, I didn't want him to be hurting.

I didn't want to face the reality that the boy I loved cried himself to sleep every night, I didn't want to see the hopelessness in his beautiful hazel eyes.

I never got to tell him how I felt.

I avoided it until it was too late.

And it was all my fault.

"Um, sir? Are you okay?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by a girl a bit younger than me, she looked concerned and then I realized why.

I must've looked like a fool.

I was holding a gallon of milk as tears streamed down my face.

"U-uh, yeah, s-sorry." I said quickly as my brown hair flopped in front of my face.

She nodded and uneasily walked away.

I composed myself a bit, got the rest of my things, and went to the check out.

There was a guy with bright red dyed hair working the register, his back was to me so I quickly put my things on the conveyer belt and looked down.

I hid my face so he would see my red eyes and tear stained cheeks. I didn't want to be 'the guy who just cried in the middle of the cereal isle'.

"Fucking piece of shit!" The guy muttered under his breath, hitting the side of the very outdated looking machine.

I flinched slightly.

His voice.

It sounded just like him.

Not today, I couldn't take this today.

The guy turned to me, "Sorry," he said quietly, "just an off day, ya' know." He said with a small smile.

I shrugged not looking up.

Four haunting years, maybe I had just forgotten the sound of his voice.

That must be it.

It has to be.

"Okay, your total is $7.38." He said with an audibly forced happiness.

I handed him the money.

I couldn't help it.

I had to see.

I looked up and was instantly met with the familiar hazel eyes.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

He tensed up, looking at me with wide eyes.

This couldn't be real, this was a dream, maybe even a nightmare.

"G-gerard?" I choked out.

I couldn't breathe, I felt like someone had just crushed my lungs and decided to stab me in the heart while they were at it.

"Hi, Frank..." He said barely audible and gave me a sad smile.