Lovely Rita

Locked in

Pauls P.O.V

She came out of the bathroom fully dressed.
She didn't look ok, she sat beside me on the bed not saying a word.
"Are you alright?" I asked
She walked got up and walked straight out the door .
By the time I rushed to put my jeans and shirt on I realised it was too late. Maybe she just needed some space. But what was weong with her.

It's been an hour and she still hasn't come back, I was really worrying. Where the bloody hell Is she . I tried not to get upset but as the time went by I just got more and more angry.
Another hour
Another hour
Another hour
The door .

Rita's P.O.V

I decided to get up and walk back home. I didn't know how long i was gone for but what I did know is that I took drugs while I was pregnant. Even if I had this child, I was already a bad mum before it was born.

All of these thoughts as I approached the door I put the key in and realised I couldn't ignore Paul forever I'd have to say or do something soon.
I opened the door and took my coat off.

"Where have you been!" Paul said from the top of the stairs,clearly angry at me.

"Out." I said, underestimating his anger

"Do you know how worried I was!" he shouted with a hand in his hip.

I could deal with this now, I just couldn't.i began to walk away when I felt Pauls hand grip my arm very tightly.
"Ouch" I muttered as he pulled me back facing him.
"You don't even bloody care do ye'" he said

I snapped

"No." I began calm and then erupted
"NO I FUCKING DONT"
Then I felt the sharpest sting across my face and felt my body fall to the floor by the force of this.
Paul slapped me.
I got up and looked at him in disgust
" I'm sorry Rita, I don't know what came over me" he immediately apologised
I didn't feel safe around him anymore. I didn't feel love for him at this point all I felt was betrayal, anger, and most of all hurt.

I looked him in the eye and held my now very sore red cheek with a tear flowing down it.
"I'm pregnant" I said walking past him up into the bedroom and locking myself inside

For most couples a pregnancy would be something amazing. But this was 1968 and people got married before having children. Even if I was married to Paul it wouldn't be the same. Our life's were intruded by press daily, he was always in the studio and who knows when he'd be on tour.

I began to cry harder thinking of the possibilities of me having to get rid of this child inside of me.
On top of all of this, the one person I trusted and felt most safe with betrayed me.
"Rita" he knocked on the door,
"Let me in, I'm so sorry, we can work this out"

I couldn't take it I went into the bathroom and took out Pauls razor I wasn't going to try and kill myself , not yet at least. I just needed a release for my pain and stress and every thing j began cutting small cuts here , small cuts there
I kept going and going, before I knew it my whole arms were covered in tiny ugly razor cuts, with tons of blood running down my arm I laid on the floor and went to sleep.