Carl and Chandler imagines

Starting Over

Here I was, laying down in the bloody filled sheets, dreaming about leaving about getting out of this hideous world.

I didn't know how long I'd been laying there, but I really didn't care. I was too zoned out to even notice Carl had been standing there calling my name for the 100th time.

"Y/n..... Y/n..... Babe you really need to get up" he repeatedly called.

It hurt knowing that my own child didnt make it through this world with me an Carl, and the rest of my 'family'. I was to distrot to even stare at the boy who made me pregnant. I couldn't look at him, he just holds all the terrifying memories of what had happened when I look at him, and I really don't want to relive it.

"Babe... Please get up, I understand you are going through a rough time, but she was my child too, and I can't even try to be around you without you pushing me away, and I'm going through the same thing you are" he sniffled in the doorway.

"you don't even know what I had to go through Carl! You weren't the one who carried her around for 9 months! You weren't the one who went in to labor, or had to give birth to her!" I scoffed, painfully sitting up to stare into those crystal blue eyes.

"Please just get out, I'll come downstairs when I'm ready" I said laying back down facing the window

"The group is downstairs waiting when you're ready"

He slowly shut the door closed. All I had wanted was for my baby to be healthy, I knew she would be put in danger, but me an Carl were ready to put our lives on the line for her. I hadn't been out of bed or eatin for 5 days now, I'm just to drained to leave.

I used all the energy I had to push my self out of bed. I dragged myself to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror, it had looked like I had just seen a ghost. I had big eye bags, my long hair was all knotted up in a ponytail, and I smelled like I hadn't taken a shower in a couple of days, but I hadn't.

I slowly exited the bathroom and walked downstairs to just get some food. I was truly depressed and I'm not sure if anyone could fix it.

I went down the hallway, and they were all sitting there making small talk about how we needed more supplies. Maggie looked at me with sorrowful eyes. I turned around an went in the kitchen. I didn't want to talk with any of them, I didn't want to be the one to make them feel like that had to pitty me because I'm having a hard time.

"Hey y/n, I want you to know we are all here for you if you need anything" maggie said coming in and patting my shoulder. I lightly brushed her off and went to go and get a bowl to make cereal.

Maggie stared at me waiting for an response, but I didn't want to talk.

No one could change the fact my baby died. No one can help me feel better, this is how it is now.

I turned around and looked at her softly, I knew it was gonna be rough but not like this. I walked past her hitting my shoulder and started going straight back to my cell.

I laid down just hoping and waiting for a day to come were I wouldn't feel so bad as I do now. Praying that I would get my happiness back, but in this world nothing goes right. All I wanted to do is just start over.