Speak Now

Awkward

Big thank you to bluecrayonlady sabersky and lazy-dreamer for the reviews!!

Alex was kissing me. I remember exactly how his lips felt: soft, plump, and smooth. His skin on his cheek was warm as my thumb crossed it.

He bit softly on my lower lip, and I had one hand tracing and tangling into his curls. He ran his hands down my sides to reach the hem of my shirt. He started to lift it, and--

"Cut! That was great, guys!" Dave cried.

Alex let go of my shirt and helped me smooth it out again, and I retracted my hand from his face and stepped back. His cheeks were always naturally rosy, so I couldn't tell if he was blushing or not, but I felt like I was.

And his entire persona dropped as soon as we were a foot away from each other, like a light switch in his brain that took us from hopelessly in love to buddies. Just buddies.

Not that I was honestly getting my hopes up. In fact, I was trying not to look at the kiss scenes at all. Acting. It's a job. You don't mean it, he doesn't mean it. Don't read into anything. You're getting paid.

As soon as I let emotions get in the way, I get distracted. I called it an identity crisis, because I couldn't tell if it was me harboring a crush, or my character, Elaine, coming into my personality. Acting blurred those lines very often.

"You do realize, one day I'm going to end up taking your shirt off, right?" He reminded me with a playful smirk. That really wasn't helping. My face went red and I looked down at his gigantic sneakers.

"I do. And I think the script said I take off your pants. I guess there's no time for vanity in a place like this...,"

He put his arm around me as the next group of actors went up for their scene. Never knowing what to do when someone put an arm around me, I wrapped my own around his back.

"You're really scared about this, aren't you?" He asked, looking right at me with worry in his eyes. A little crease sat right between his eyebrows.

I blushed, but nodded all the same.

"Honestly? Yeah. It's hard enough to do the kiss scenes without royally screwing everything up, not to mention I've never done anything close to intimacy in real life, so... it's not like I've got anything to go off of."

"Wait, you're still...?" He didn't say the word but I knew what he implied.

I was tempted to say "That's personal," but why not tell him? We were going to see each other naked (or almost naked) by the end of next week. Privacy wasn't really an option.

"Nope. Why, have you?" I finally said.

He avoided the question by kinda shuffling his feet and scratching the back of his head.

"How do I say this without sounding like a total creep.... umh... what if we, um... you know... practiced? Like in private? So it's not as awkward in front of everyone?"

My eyebrows shot upward into my hairline as he said that. When he realized what he had implied, he flushed beet red.

"No! No I don't mean we should... do it... I-I meant... rehearse the scene... uh, this is...,"

"Awwwk-waaaarrd,~" Keanu sang, popping up behind us. He laughed at his own joke and Alex and I jumped apart.

"Good job guys. I felt uncomfortable watching that, but I liked the acting," he teased. Keanu squeezed between us and threw and arm over both our shoulders. My arm shifted around to his back, now.