Speak Now

The Scene

Today on set, the dreaded scene was going to be rehearsed for the first time. My knees were knocking together was Alex picked me up.

Even though it was now a daily occurrence, him taking me to set, the prospect of what was about to come terrified me.

Keanu was unphased. It was probably because he didn't have to do an intense scene with a stranger.

On set, there was only a small handful of cast members, and Dave found us almost immediately after walking through the door. He pulled Alex and I aside. Keanu made his way to the snack table and took a seat on it.

The details of the morning and the talk with Dave ran together, nerves getting the better of me and knocking my focus out of my mind.

In short, Dave explained that we would need to rehearse the intimate scene, but he wanted to make sure we felt comfortable with each other first.

"Katie took me to dinner last night to get to know me," Alex said. "That was smart. I feel like I know her better now." He flashed a charming little half smile, and it made me nod against my will.

"We should bite the bullet. It'll only get easier from here," I said, face as red as Dave's hat.

"As long as you're both ready," Dave nodded. He took us down a long hall, but it felt a lot longer than it did the time we walked it on the first day.

We had separate makeup rooms, where we got into 'costumes' and received all of our directions. In my room, there were a few makeup ladies that I sort of knew.

I was standing in front of them with no clothes on. I felt vulnerable, yet okay at the same time because they were all females. It felt no different than changing in a locker room at the gym.

To preserve my modesty for the movie, I was in the equivalent of a feminine hygiene product, underwear the same tone as my skin, and a small bit of sticky cloth to cover my chest.

I got into the character's assigned red underwear, and they draped a robe around my shoulders. I tied it around my waist, very eager to cover myself, despite the fact that I would be taking it off in a few minutes.

The fact that it was a closed set made me feel a bit better, because that meant only the cast involved would be there, as well as minimal crew for lights, camera, sound, and direction. Since we weren't recording today, and only rehearsing, that meant even fewer people, but even still, Alex was there, so I was going to be embarrassed.

The set was an empty room and a bed. There were a million pillows and several layers of blankets for me to hide under in shame. Alex was there already, sitting on the bed in a robe just like mine.

I turned once to Amy, the costume designer, asking a question but honestly just trying to stall before I had to strip in front of 10 people and pretend to get intimate with Alex.

"So uh... do I have to make... the noises...? Or should I just go through the motions?" I stammered, avoiding looking at Alex as his robe hung open to show his chest. He was looking down at his script, the front flap of his robe falling off his chest, revealing his smooth skin and a hint of muscles.

"I think they were going to have you go all in today. I'd clear it with Dave if I were you," she said, gently holding my shoulders. "Don't worry, you're gonna be okay."

I nodded and blushed, then wandered to Alex, shifting to hold the robe closed. He looked up and smiled when I got next to him, and I could see right down the robe.

It honestly looked like he was wearing nothing at all. I was okay with that. And I was not okay with that.

"Ready?" He asked me, clasping my hand.