dear alice.

III. MURPHY

In the midst of tears and sadness, Grace gathered her composure. She was due to talk about Alice in five minutes and the speech she'd memorized was starting to feel heavy in her hands. The others had told her she would be fine. That the speech she wrote was perfect and exactly what some needed to hear. Grace wasn't so sure. The words felt artificial the more she read over it. The words written down weren't Alice but it was too late to change anything.

Castor could see her discomfort as she squirmed in her seat folding and opening the paper in her hands. He had reassured her a million times although it didn't seem it sunk in. If he had to do it a million more then so be it. Taking the paper out of her hands he replaced it with his own. He squeezed hers and with his other shoved the sheet in his pocket for good measure.

There was nothing going on between the two but others begged to differ. Even Murphy had questioned their 'friendship' or rather 'relationship'. Archie being Archie always made comments though most didn't pay attention to his version of fun. Then there was Alice. She had rooted for the two to get together, planning ways to get them alone and to come to terms with each other's feelings.

But Grace and Castor were friends. Nothing more.

She smiled at this small action and gave a squeeze in return. It was something, Castor told himself. Sighing Grace closed her eyes and turned her attention to the speaker up on stage.

"There will be no more Alice. There will be no more late nights talking with a girl who took the world head on. Alice is gone and I can't get her back. My little girl is gone and I can't get that back. I can't change anything."

Alice Grimsby's mother talked about Alice like she was gone and that made Grace angry. In fact, it made Castor and Archie fume. It made Murphy furious. Yes, Alice no longer took on a human form but that in no way meant she was gone. Her memory lived on and for as long as these four breathed they would continue to keep it alive.

"She acts as though her dying is the end," Murphy muttered beside Grace. She opened her eyes to look at the boy next to her.

"She means well."

"Doesn't matter. When you go up there remind them who Alice was and who she still is. I don't want to hear another Alice is gone and in saying that she's never coming back. We all know that you don't need to repeat it another six times women," He said.

Grace knew where he was coming from. So she started to think. Maybe her speech was too clinical. Maybe her original thoughts about it were right. Maybe she should ditch it all together. Maybe Grace Terray would throw away her speech and talk about Alice Grimsby instead of telling all about Alice Grimsby.

When Grace took to the stand, Murphy shuffled over into the tenth chair. There was silence between the three remaining friends but it was comfortable. They all knew Grace would say the right words. Words needed to be heard. Words her mother had failed to appreciate.

She hesitated when all eyes fell on her. Grace opened her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. It was at that time that Castor realized he still had her speech in his pocket and started to panic.

"Dear Alice. I want to forgive you, I really do. You left at the worst time for all of us. So sudden. So...so early. I, myself, all the people here today took you for granted because nobody could imagine a life without Alice. You were always there and you not being there wasn't a possibility. We see now that it was and regret the things we did. The choices we made. The times and memories cut short because of your passing. We regret having to say we now live a life without you. Without Alice Grimsby. Without a girl who knew a smile could both mend and damage a heart."

"You could make us feel a thousand things at once. Love, heartbreak, courage, fear. I guess you were like a drug to some of us. Alice, you took the gun and looked down its barrel. Unafraid of whether it was loaded or not. You even took others and made the decision for them. You guided us and showed us the other alternatives we didn't even know existed. You were... are such a wise soul in a young body."

"We will tell stories, Alice. Stories where you're the hero and all of us are the ones you have touched or saved. Don't take death as the end, take it as the beginning of something far more than the adventure you've had with us. I- I want to forgive you for leaving me, for breaking me and I know you did this to make me someone. I- just can't believe you're gone..."

"Dear Alice, I miss you and for as long as I am living I will continue to do just that."