MaLuke

Chapter 27

The starting beat came on and we all stood, waiting for what was about to unravel. He started singing the first few lines, all the whilst looking at the floors. Then he started on the main lines, and turned to look at me while he did.

"You're hearing rumours about me,

And you can't stomach the thought,

Of someone touching my body,

When you're so close to my heart,

I won't deny what they sayin,

Because most of it is true,

But it was all before I fell for you." He pointed at me as he sang the last line. I didn't move an inch, nor did I smile. I was feeling as blank. My mind unable to give out commands or conjure reactions. He stood up and walked to the enough of the stage, still looking at me whilst he sang the chorus. The lyrics were written just for us, every word captivating my mind and locking it into my heart. Zayn with his beautiful voice, and breathtakingly beautiful self was too much for my mind to comprehend.

"So please baby,

Please don't judge me,

And I won't judge you,

Cause it could get ugly,

Before it gets beautiful,

Please don't judge me,

And I won't judge you,

And you if you love me,

Let it be beautiful."

He kept on singing but I was all caught up on the second last line. Did I love him? No. But my no wasn't strong enough. I just knew deep In my heart that Zayn would always have a place there. Zayn was a player, someone who I would never fall for. Nevertheless, he had squeezed his way into my heart. My heart was hammering heavily in my chest, thumping a strange broken metre. I placed a hand over my chest to try and slow down my heart rate. It didn't work. Every word out of Zayn's mouth was like an electric bolt going straight to my heart.

As if it wasn't enough, he kept on singing.

"You're hearing rumors about me,

And saw some pictures online,

Sayin they got you so angry,

Makin you wish were blind,

Before we start talkin crazy,

Sayin some things we'll regret,

Can we just slow it down, rest yourself. You're beautiful. " Then he went back to singing the chorus. On the sixth line of the chorus, Zayn started crying. Tears came out of his eyes like an open tap, but his voice remained clear as he kept on singing. The sight of him crying was enough to break the freezing spell over me. I turned to see Adrienne, she tear had rolled out of her left eye, staining her cheek. Meghan had wide eyes and an open mouth. A tear or two were already spilling from my own eyes. I swept at them quickly.

We all stood like that until he finished the song and went out the door at the back of the stage. The door led to the roof of the building, and was overlooking the outdoor mall. The mall would probably be closing by now. I slipped away easily into the crowd, away from my friends and made my way to the other fire escape door. I needed to talk to Zayn.

Desperately!

I ran up the fire escape stairs, taking them two at a time. I wasn't even tired by the time I reached the top of the three story building. The club was on the second level. I opened the door and burst out into the cold night. The thin layer of fabric I had on did nothing to block out the cold. I cursed myself for not bringing a parka or windbreaker. But the cool air helped to keep me on high alert and focused.

The silent night greeted meet with a windy welcome. But no sign of Zayn. I was so sure he would be up here, so why wasn't he. The stairs behind the stage only led up. Then I remembered that I had used another fire escape, and he was probably on the other side of the roof. I slowly made my way across all the debris on the roof, thankful that I had chosen practicality over fashion tonight. I don't know how I would have jumped all over all this junk in a pair of heels or wedges.

There was a sound of metal screeching in agony as what sounded like a chair was dragged across the concrete. Or it could be the guy from chainsaw man. I shut my brain up and shoved all the horror movies and monsters into a tightly shut box. I stopped to control my heartbeat and regain my confidence. It's probably just Zayn. With that thought in mind, I slowly rounded the corner.

My heart rose all the was to my throat as I saw what was about to unfold. Zayn had a rope tied around his neck, and his back to me. The rope was secured very tightly around concrete posts that stood close to the fire exit. His shoulders were shaking, probably from crying. It hurt to see him like this. I was going to inflict pain on him tonight, but seeing how I felt seeing him cry, I don't think I was. The noise I had heard, was the sound of Zayn dragging a chair to place next to the buildings ledge.

He was going to commit suicide. It all clicked suddenly. He stepped up on the iron chair. He had obviously not heard me. No sound left me as his shoulders continued to shake.

"If I can't have her, then it's not worth living." He sobbed silently and he raised his right floor to place on the ledge. I was only a metre and a half away from him. And yet the space in between us felt as long as the Sahara desert. My legs felt heavy, but nothing was heavier than the feeling of gloom that had settled over my heart.

Before I could think twice about it, I started running towards Zayn before he could lift his left leg up onto the ledge. Nobody was committing suicide over me. Not today, not any other day.

I stepped on the metal chair and wrapped my hands around him from behind. Both my hands lay flat against his upper abdomen and the heavy fog that settled over my heart was lifted for a fraction of a second. He chuckled. I let go of him a bit to give him room to turn around. He didn't, but I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

"Is this heaven's way of telling me that I'm doing the right thing?" Zayn spoke, his voice cracking in between the words.

"I forgive you Zayn. Please don't do this." I pleaded silently. But words failed me, and only tears could stream down my face. I held on tightly to him, willing him in my mind to step of the building's ledge. He didn't. I cursed my inability to speak at that moment, but I couldn't find my voice, afraid that I would cry loudly if I did. I could only manage soft whispers.

"Khaimon I'm sorry. Please don't judge me, cause I don't judge you." He sighed, then took a deep breath. "Because I.. Because I love you too much for my own good." He put his left leg on the ledge too, not feeling the extra weight (me), that was hanging onto his body. I guess in his mind he must be already dead.

"Zayn no." I cried. But all that came out were sobs. All images were distorted and blurry. Tears were coming down like never before. I had never cried so much in my life. He stood still for a second. Stretched his arms out and walked off the ledge.

I refused to let go of him as his weight swept me off my feet and over the ledge. The ground wasn't too far below, so I could probably make it. But but Zayn. He was going to hang himself, and I would feel guilty and empty for the rest of my life. I slowly replayed all the moments that we shared together. The good and the bad. Our formal, our first day together at Starbucks, our afternoon at the park. More tears left my eyes.

Time slowed down as we fell. Zayn eased his body around and was facing me. But his eyes were closed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close. I knew he was only living in his consciousness right now. No longer alive and in his body. I was more or less like a dream to him. It didn't matter. I would treasure all our last moments together. I didn't really think I'd be alive if I hit the concrete below.

I closed my eyes and let my own consciousness take over.

"I love you too Zayn."

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Authors Note:

Holy Shit I did all this in forty-five minutes. Due to being pushed around by ma homies to update this. Hopefully I'll be updating soon again.

This chapter is dedicated to Vekorah, my crazy ass friend!

Peace