Out of the Shadows [Book Three]

Chapter Eleven:

dedicated to bonusducks0503 for being helpful figuring out what neville's patronus could possibly be, thank you <3 

Chapter Eleven: 

I wouldn't eat nor drink around anyone except Ginny and I knew that her family was still curious about what was wrong with me but Ginny wouldn't tell them because it was my right to tell if I wanted to.  But I was embarrassed by it, embarrassed of my cowardice and weakness, I didn't want to tell anyone about it.  I wouldn't allow Ginny to talk to me about it either, I hated the thought of what was wrong with me.  

I was broken and it disgusted me. So instead, as I waited for Lupin to show up even now, days later, I stayed in Percy's old room with five different books surrounding me as I struggled to take notes on everything I was learning.  My hands never stopped shaking, not for even a moment and I'm sure they trembled even in my sleep but I pushed through it, writing rather sloppily possible incantations, or potion ideas that may be able to help Neville's parents.  But I didn't spend all of my time on them, I tried to split it equally between the Longbottoms and the Army and in fact in just three days I had managed to design one spell that would put someone through a sort of suspended animation.  

It was by far the most challenging spell I'd ever created and also the most helpful.  If someone were mortally wounded and there was no chance of getting them to help before they would die, you could simply use this spell and it would freeze them until you muttered the counter-spell, it could last for hours without failing and would save lives without a doubt.  All you had to do was use the spell until you could get them the medical attention they needed.  

I'd also begun working on another protection spell, those this one was more a circle of fire idea.  

Obviously, I couldn't test out how well these ideas worked until I was back at Hogwarts but I was confident in my abilities as a spell-maker, more confident than I was at being a spell-caster at the moment even.  

Sighing, I poured over the books once more in hopes that I could find something else useful before I closed down for the night, knowing that it was only a couple of days until Christmas and it would only get more hectic from here.  

I fell asleep still waiting on my godfather to help me.  

* 

Christmas day came too quickly for my liking; I knew I would be expected to help and join in the feast and celebrations along with the rest of the family and whatever guests they invited; but I also knew that I was not good company nor could I seem to do even the simplest of tasks correctly.  Even still, I would try because they were giving me a place to stay for these dismal holidays when I had nowhere else to go; because of Ginny and Mr and Mrs Weasley, I didn't have to stay at Hogwarts with the Carrow's and risk being tortured or bullied due to my new.. issues.  

Ginny watched me from the corner of her eye at all times and when she wasn't busy, she hovered over me like a protective mother would and though sometimes it became too much, today I was glad for her worrying, I was glad to have someone next to me  who actually cared and on this holiday, I could be with someone I actually cared about.  

It's funny how quickly everything can change, how one year you're a tortured girl abused by her uncle, aunt and cousin, the next thing you know you're making the worst mistakes one can make, hating the nicest people you'd ever meet but then.. you realize it isn't worth it.  All the pain and suffering you will go through in your life will make you realize who your real friends are, who you can and can't trust, who will be there for you through thick and thin and it might just be that person you've always disliked.  

Ginny Weasley was possibly the best friend anyone could ever ask for.  

I wasn't asked to do much, thankfully, just to set the table, fill a bowl with sweets, and make a simple salad.   I decided to fill the sweet bowl up first, placing the bits of chocolate into it carefully so as not to mess up.  It took longer, nearly three times as long actually, than it should have but I didn't care, I was simply proud of myself for finishing it.  

Then I began on the salad, doing exactly as Molly told me to as I walked around her kitchen barefoot and still in my pyjamas.  I smiled at the jokes that floated about the kitchen, I grinned as Fred and George told stories about their best pranks and I was the happiest I had ever been when Remus Lupin walked through the front door with Arthur Weasley and a woman with blue hair.  

"Remus!" I spoke loudly and happily, letting my eyes light up as they landed on him.  He sat down at the kitchen table, smiling at me and holding the blue-haired girls hand while simultaneously pulling her down into the seat next to him.  I grabbed hold of the salad bowl, making a move towards the table when it happened again.  I lost control of my hand and it seemed so slow as I watched the bowl smash into the floor and shatter into tons of shards.  My foot came down hard on my last step as I froze, and I could feel the jagged edges of two pieces of glass embed themselves into the sole of my feet.  

Ginny rushed over to me, grabbing hold of my quivering hands and squeezing them tightly.  

"It's okay, it will be okay and you will be okay.  I'll clean this up, you should sit and fix your foot, Amy," she muttered quietly so that nobody else could hear.  I paid her no mind, calmly taking my hands out of her own and ignoring the hot tears in my eyes that begged me to let them fall but instead I bent down and began to clean up my mess by hand.  

A tremor shook through me, causing me to squeeze my hand over a piece of glass and though it should have sliced me deeply I was lucky enough not to gain another injury over my own incompetence.  

"I-I'm s-so-sorry," I stuttered, cursing at my inability to even speak.  

"Nonsense dear, accidents happen.  I can clean it right up and then I'll help take care of that foot," Mrs. Weasley smiled, though I could see in her eyes she knew it wasn't just a simple accident.  The last time she saw me  I could speak properly, I was graceful, I never dropped anything or had any issues besides my allergies and this time I was a bumbling freak.  

I moved out of her way, dropping the glass in my hand before hobbling over to a seat at the table.  Remus moved to stand in front of me, his eyes questioning but no words left his mouth as he bent down and took my injured limb in his hands, quickly pulling out the slivers of glass before using magic to heal my foot easily enough.  

"T-Th-.." I glanced up at the ceiling and blinked my eyes repeatedly so that no traitorous tears would fall from my eyes.  I looked quickly towards Ginny before standing up and leaving the room without finishing up my chores or thanking Remus or Molly.  

Not long after I had made it to Percy's room a knock sounded at my door.  I didn't answer, knowing it would only be one of two people and when the door opened and light shined into the darkened room, I knew I was right.  It was Remus, alone, standing in the doorway and he didn't wait for me to invite him before he walked in, switched on the lights and sat at the foot of the bed that I was curled up on.  

"I know I haven't been there for you like I should have been, and I know that this last year has undoubtedly been hard on you... and I know something happened to you after Bellatrix took you from here last year.  I want you to know that I never stopped looking for you until I found you underneath that mask at Hogwarts.  But I want you to also know that I had never been so terrified in all my life when I saw you lying on the ground that night, but tonight comes in a close second because I know something is wrong now.  Something else has happened and I wont make you tell me but I need you to understand that I am here now, even if I wasn't in the beginning and I never plan on leaving."  

I opened my mouth, not sure what to say but knowing I needed to reply.  

"I w-want to t-tell you but," I shook my head, my words trailing off as I forgot the words I wanted to say to him; another side-effect of hours of torture.  "G-Gin-Ginny, call her in," I managed to get out as yet another tremor wracked through my body causing my right arm to twitch out and clench slightly. 

Remus' eyes narrowed on my actions before nodding and calling for the youngest Weasley so that he would get an explanation, and with him knowing I knew it wouldn't be too long before everyone in the house knew.