Don't worry it's not human testicles but chicken testicles.
I had a crazy day so I'm going to write everything I remembered down.
So I slept at 8 a.m. and woke up at 11. You might think, 'Wow, this b*tch is CRAZY.' but actually I can't sleep last night cuz it's so f*cking hot so I was awake watching Jenna Marbles (I didn't watch Ryan Higa cuz I had basically watched every single video he posted at least twice) and waiting the new nigahiga video.
We(my mum and I) had planned to join my cousin's family to shop at city plaza at Tai Koo and afterwards we went to the AIA Great Europe Festival which was so f*cking crazy.
After we arrived at the plaza, my aunt called my mum to wait at 'the crystal'. We didn't know what the crystal was but when we went into the plaza the first thing we saw was a Swarovski shop (which obviously sells crystals) so we were like ok that must be it and my aunt called and asked us where we were and we're like obviously the place where they sell CRYSTALS and she was like, 'Who said anything about CRYSTALS? I told u to wait at the movie theatre!(cuz they just finished a movie)' and that moment was the most confusing thing I encountered(not like THE MOST, but like top 10) so we went to the bookshop (cuz that's clearly the most intriguing place to go to in a plaza which sells clothes and toys and whatever seems better besides five bookshelves dedicated to travel books to Taiwan and Korea and Japan in a 'cheap' living goods(生活用品) store selling HKD $700 pots and pans) and I bought a book, which is Binge by Tyler Oakley, and I don't even watch him on YouTube! And the 'I don't get it but you're stupid' part is that my cousin, who is 1 year 10 months younger (I say it's 2 years but he keeps saying it's 1 year which according to simple math to round off numbers is nonsense) than me and his name is Otis (he prefer to be called Zero which is the stupidest name I have heard of)(he also was called Blue based on his Chinese name and Thomas based on his favorite cartoon character before, but whatever they all are stupid), bought a book called 'the real bible to channeling your inner energy/strength Shao Lin style' (少林內功真經) and again he's stupid.
After the bookshop, we went to another living goods store and I bought a aluminum model of iron man (ironic huh? Iron man made out of aluminum) to piece it together at home. It was perfect but I still can't find my graduation (GRADUATION) gift that my dad promised me 2 years ago (seriously dad).
After we had lunch(we had ramen), we headed to the festival in Central. We arrived there and lined up to get in (free of charge tickets) and the queue was so f*cking (my keyboard knows what I'm going to type after 'so', but still mistaken 'off' for pod and 'is' for outs) long and when we almost reached the end of the line to grab the tickets and buy the tokens, this lady-bitch was coming ahead of us from behind and ready to go in front of the family in front of us, when the housewife in front of me just went on fire and screamed at that bitch and below is their argument: (All things said below is real but translated into English)
LadyBitch~LB
Housewife~HW
My Uncle~U
Housewife's husband~HH
My Mum~MM
Staff~S
HW:'That's enough you bitch, you crossed the line. This is not a race, you bitch, you don't win any prize by getting in front of me. Just smelling your hair I knew something was wrong.'
MM:'I thought that's your friend.'
HW:'My friend wouldn't have such disgusting hair.
LB:'I wasn't jumping the queue, I started lining here since the rubbish bin.'
HW:'No, you bitch, this lady (pointing at MM) was standing behind the whole time.'
LB:'No, I started lining up since the rubbish bin.'
HH:'You bitch, I saw you make your way into the line and clearly jumping the queue.'
HW:'You bitch, your hair is so gross and you are so mean and you are not educated whatsoever and you're now talking nonsense. LEAVE.'
U:'Ok, calm down everyone, just let it go.(not referencing anything)'
S:'Next, I said NEXT!'
That's how the whole thing went: just weirdly ended.
We went on the first ride and it felt like an airplane turbulence and whatever happens inside a washing machine mixed together. The ride looked something like a spinning huge metal stick with tentacles and the tentacles were spinning also and at the end of each tentacle there are 3 groups of 2 seats which are spinning together in the same direction.
When we finished the ride, snot was almost on my lip and I said, 'Ew, I have snot everywhere.' and when I glanced at my cousin (Mr Zero), I saw his pants 'contaminated' by some white gooey stuff and I was like what was THAT and he said that it was his snot because of the anti gravity feeling and it made snot cone out and landed on his pants. Not counting the washing machine experience, hearing and seeing that makes me want to puke and even writing about it now made me gag a little (he was sitting beside me on the ride).
Next we went on the water thingy where you slide down a water slide sitting on a boat/canoe thing. Out of all things I could have wore, I wore the most inappropriate outfit for a water ride:a sweater(soaks up the water real quick), leggings(soak up water real quick and show inappropriate things when wet) and Converses(cloth shoes which would make my feet wet when being splashed with water). Luckily, my uncle lend me his waterproof jacket, or else I would be SOAKED in water. Otis and I went on the ride and it was even more scary than we saw it on the ground. The first slide is shorter and has no water on the slide, but we would slide INTO water. After we went on the first slide, our boat/canoe took a turn and went on to the second slide which going upwards is really steep. We almost slid to the back of the boat/canoe due to the steepness. When we reached the top of the slide, we realized how terrifying the slide was. It flowed with water, which would reduce friction (I paid attention in Science) and the slide wasn't a straight one. We were almost hugging each other(ew) because there were no safety belts on that ride.
After the water ride, Otis, his dad/my uncle and I went on the flying swing to shake off (pun not intended) the water soaked in my pants. The ride started off pretty normal and the Star Wars theme was blasting out loud. Suddenly, we had been Rick Rolled(if you don't know what is rick roll, go on youtube and wikipedia to search for rick roll.) and the ride stopped. The ride started again and it was FUN, except the fact that when the swing was pulled out by force, the metal chains on our seats squeaked, which horrified us. We were so afraid that we closed our eyes for the rest of the ride.
We didn't know what to ride after the flying swings, so we decided to leave the carnival and watch the roses nearby. Although the roses were artificial, we still enjoyed looking at the glowing flowers. Some really bad(i sound like a baby) people pulled out the flowers just to take a selfie. Assholes.
Then we went to have hotpot. Nothing could go wrong eating hotpot, right? That statement is totally wrong. My uncle ordered a can of beer, and when it arrived, Otis immediately (pun not intended) opened the can and took a huge gulp. I was like staring at him and said, 'You know that it's illegal, right?' And suddenly my uncle told me to drink some too, and I was like nah thanks. My mum and my aunt suddenly put pressure on me and said that I should drink some before reaching 18 so that once I'm at appropriate age I could handle the alcohol. Being the good girl that I am (yeah, right), I didn't drink and I'm still glad that I didn't. (I predicted that Otis would join black societies (like huk xe wui) when I was 8 and I think he's like one step closer to that prediction.) When the food came, everyone forgot about it and ate. I wasn't feeling so well (probably due to the fact that I didn't sleep for 30 hours) and didn't eat much. My mum suddenly gave me a chicken testicle to me and I was like nuh uh and Otis just chopsticked it out of my bowl and ate it whole. I was like EW and he was like YUM. Then we had a discussion/argument about why the testicle of a chicken could be so big. Cuz humans have two testicles doesn't mean that chickens have two, right? (I just grossed myself out)
So, that wrapped that day.
P.s. I wrote this on 14 February but didn't have the time to finish it, so here it is.
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