The Thug's Life

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

This car ride has been silent. To me it's an uncomfortable silence, like I should say something but what can I say? Tati doesn't say anything either. She just sits there watching the road probably as intensely as me. She's wearing my hoodie now as I offered her before we pulled off. She never uncrossed her arms which leads me to believe that something is wrong. I got too much on my head now so I don't ask what's wrong. I most definitely don't tell her what Ashten has just told me. I shouldn't tell her...right?

I let out a sigh still not feeling comfortable in this silence. Then when I hear Tati say something, I would do anything to get the silence back.

"I want a baby, Sean."

Tati's words confuse me so much that I could've swerved off road. Why would she want a baby? And why would she tell me this now at all times in the world?

"What?"

"I want a baby, Sean!" she says louder this time. I think she is really serious about this. Yet I just can't grasp my head around it.

"Where did this come from?" I ask her confused. Just earlier in the week she was coming home at all times of the night, sleeping around and now she wants a baby. I can't understand this but the one thought that does go through my head is maybe if she had a baby to take care of she would be faithful and won't be out so late. It's just I'm not sure if I'm willing to try the theory. I'm not sure about the whole idea.

"I don't know. I just, I want a baby." She knows where she came up with the idea but doesn't want to tell me. I don't even try to push it any further because it's not all that relevant at the moment.

I just got news that people are going to come after me. I don't know when and there can never be a way to be completely ready. But if they're coming after me then they're most likely to get Tati too. I already have to worry about protecting her. The last thing I want is to have to worry about is someone coming after my child too.

"Oh c'mon I'm alone all day while you're working and stuff. A baby will give me something to do," she says trying to convince me. I know that Tati is at home all day, alone, most of the time. She doesn't work. I bring home the income while she takes care of all the other things. That's just how we worked. She holds the house down for me while I'm away. I understand that she might be a little lonely while I'm gone but I'm working. I can't do anything to change that. Besides, she always leaves during the night and she's not even working. So I say back to her getting defensive.

"And I'm all alone during the night."

"That's not fair, Sean."

"Yeah it's not fair to me." Anger is now dominant in my voice but I try to mask it. I can't believe she's going to tell me what is and isn't fair in this relationship. I put up with all of this bull she does, that she puts me through and she's going to tell me that I'm not being fair.

"I told you from day one, I couldn't be with you. That it was gonna be like this. That it wouldn't be fair to you. That I couldn't be fair to you. But no you said. So this is where we are." Tati yells to me. She shifted in her seat to face me more.

I'm having a hard time focusing on the road now but I can't stop this conversation. I know what she's telling me is true. But she could've stopped at any time and made it fair. So yeah, this is where we are at now. I think to myself, should I have just let her leave after our first night together. The fact is I couldn't bring myself to leave her. I wanted her too much and our relationship has been exactly how she warned me it would go. So can I entirely blame her? I mean like, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into.

A few minuets pass by when I ask her, "If we have a baby, would you stop?" My voice is calm, truly wanting to know the answer. I want her to stop everything if I agree on having a baby. I'm not sure if I am even willing to risk everything for a baby. So if I do, I want to make sure it was for a good cause.